Still awake. Still Wednesday

Not Proof Read - 1st Draft

I’m a tiny bit worried about my drug supply running out this weekend or next week. You don’t really realize how your mood is up because of the drug. It just feels right and when it’s gone I’m going to…

Still awake. Still Wednesday

I’m a tiny bit worried about my drug supply running out this weekend or next week. You don’t really realize how your mood is up because of the drug. It just feels right and when it’s gone I’m going to have some hard times all alone with a schedule to keep.

I suspect it won’t be great and it happens during the absolute lowest cheque month of the year by the look of it. Several domains and hardly any incoming money.

At 5:30 I was still smoking and that’s not good because I didn’t sleep at all last night so I really have to sleep starting about 6:30 today. We both know that’s not going to happen. However, if I lay there pretending like I do, hopefully by 2:00 or 3:00 a.m. I will be asleep.

If not we try again tomorrow.

This morning starting at 5:15 after he’s left far enough to not see my lights go on, I experiment with the strobe light and head enough success to enjoy it but not really anything worthy of sharing. I have officially run out of cool ways to use meth on video.

I posted a bold single frame about my meth use to the asexual group on Reddit and received pretty much 90% negative response because they all saw it as me being proud of a drug habit. For many, the worst drug habit. I should have thought of that of course. I should have posted drug user, not meth user but originally the post was designed for the meth group which is where I post usually.

They are correct of course. I appear to be proud of my meth use. I post and share as often as I can to those who use like me. It’s a community, but not really a very good one and it’s not really very community-like. Occasionally people like my videos but there’s no sense of friendship or communal assistance in any way.

Visually, it looks bad to the rest of the world and I’ve always known that but I still use.

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