I honestly think I made some breakthroughs today however I may very clearly been high to everyone but me. I want to believe that Jeff was me. Hinting just enough to… Fuck. Confidence can be so bright it blinds you…

Smile note

I honestly think I made some breakthroughs today however I may very clearly been high to everyone but me. I want to believe that Jeff was me. Hinting just enough to…

Fuck. Confidence can be so bright it blinds you to other consequence. On weed,there is no doubt I show. I freaked out and hide. Sharing my weed high is hard.

I didn’t have that annoying fear. I honestly…I pause, and at that moment I freeze trying to recall. Darn.

I am approaching the next phase, where the other voice usually cautions me.

However this may be it. I think it should…darn. I wanted to end mid work as I like to do in my writing because once my stream of …

Ok. So I’m a little scared. You see… Fuck this is way to much to be public.

I want to believe my writing, and my soon to be shared videos .

I believe somebody will offer to

Oh. I believe that my story needed to be shared. I needed to know if I was William Hung or the me I imagine.

I believe that for me, a lone obsessive brain that could spiral into a hole because my mental magic power is to be able to visualize possible scenarios to saying yes,and I can’t stop myself from the negative scenarios as well.

Bam. Call

I just did the orange version of the drunk dial. A super weed high with confidence.

Here’s my logic.

1 I know I’m funny but I also know my main activity partner doesn’t hear or get a good percentage of my jokes,but it’s great to get an audible laugh when you go with a punchline.

As I was say… As I was writing,I am alone now,for virtually ding the first 3 or 4 years now. I only recently came to grips with the fact I wasn’t doing anything but being invisible until ding somebody asked something I can answer.

I have driven my life into a position where enough people pay me each month to maintain a hosting service with email and…

Why was I talking about … I rearranged my position. I felt uncomfortable with my phone in my ✋ hand.

Ha. Zeppelin. … Pause a mental debate between describing the use of an emoji high five hand in my last paragraph.

The other voice preferred to cut it out.

Image of me as the old man resistant to the next generation. Emojis are kind of neat and fun,and just the

 

I’m going to say, at this moment my mind is racing scenarios while I type and I apologize if I don’t finish …

Bam

Lbm

The old farts,including a clear visual memory of my father… Everything is too fast these days. Language evolves and people getblazy.

Every generation needs something faster that’ll piss our parents off.

I was talking about it toni-

Oh look, a zeppelin .

My keyboard just referred then, as I was about to write a total topic change. I was also you

If I were the type of person to believe in a god, I might compare the keyboard slip up to a shiny distraction. .. A misdirection .

High.  Im Orange Jeff and this is my life.  How much it changes depends on … Well in going to say my universe.

…..

Now I want to start typing about this keyboard because I’m an old man that’s a little weird about change.

Stop

Drink. 1.15

Fuck

I shouldn’t do this now. Am I craz.. yes

I must be.

 

I want to do the wrong thing because I only do the right thing and I lived my entire life thinking … Well I’m not sure. I’m doing it over now, on weed

I am declaring that I

Now my head is filled with the idea I must shut down the blog.

I can’t afford to not be invisible.im not used to compliments.confidence was new to me.

Note. I can not remember the exact origin story of my confidence but I’m basing my new life philosophy on what I attribute it to.

I don’t want to be famous. I just want a few fans.

…..

It is the great joy of the universe to have a fan. Whenever you share yourself, a fan means you were right. The first person you share with is your approval. A fans approval feels like a dog jumping up to grab his treat. Good boy.  Good boy.

Ok… My mind days let’s go there… I feel like I have more of a dog’s brain.hoeever I think such interesting thoughts on recreational drugs in quantities rock stars might consider …

Did I just want to show pride in my drug stories? Hell ya. I’m out now, right?

Maybe not.

… Did I ever tell you I considered puppets? I have 3. Right within reach of my bed.

I also thought I might get people to read parts of these as a monologue at a microphone

I did acid last Wednesday. Hefty dose with 3 or 4 week span since I finished off the last 100

….

Oh yeah. I bragged openly and came out almost with pride that I love acid and probably…

An interesting thing happens when ibtite of an active thought and right at the peak I’d usually think of some unrelated thoughts… But sometimes I don’t have one.

I’m getting tired.

It’s 130am on a Tuesday.

Fajitas nigh

 

My universe just threw a distraction at me again. Emoji keyboard.

 

I will not see the movie.

Ok maybe stoned.

Ding ding ding

Game show idea. Tell a story stoned

I really want to explore with ideas.

 

Ok.i admit. If I get a fan. If somebody gets this and reaches out to me, then my universe is back inmotion and I become alive.

I quite literally am a clock

Nope.

No points as I imagine ding I should know names but they have become slower to recall and I lose my flow

I know I … Ding

I admit I do not know if I am a good enough storyteller alone, because I never fini

I often don’t finish.

I am living three lives.

Ding. Guilt comes on the mic. Just letting you know it’s 130 heart still fast

I am sad my brain had just enough understanding of my universe to

 

I live a quiet life of nothing but obsedsive

Ding conspiracy thinking.

I am using the new Google Gboard app keyboard on my Samsung 7 Edge.

It’s prediction seems excellent and I’ve had no trouble adapting to it. The changes were not annoying enough to be deslbreakers.

It is trying to be smart. I imagine the two major distractions could have been intentional.

The characters in any story don’t usually question their existence as merely characters in a story.

I had a wonderful perhaps over the top time at fajita night. As I am about to write about the pride in fajita nights I stop, and silently imagine, with years of practice and enhancement, I visualize how this could go wrong.

I recently had a light bulb moment

 

Blank. I didn’t even want to use a period. I just faxed awa..

My dinner with 7 at the table for 8. The only true thing we all have in common is this dinner and a special joy in hating the location nearest me, and loving the location farthest.

Ironically I’ve changed the cast of regulars enough since season 1,when we hated the north one.

I remembered the fear that rides along in my second though stream.

I can imagine the irritating part of fame being the early stages.

If I am William Hung and my very first shared stories go badly, let’s hope just the right amount.

When I was growing up …

Something something dark side

The idea.

If I can find a guy to edit and produce … A partner I click with…

I have been living a life of enhanced confidence in both universes. The live one where I’m just Jeff and the 3D avatar based computer universe that is mind boggling

….

I have … No. I need a break.checote sent a boat and a helicopter.im on the roof.

 

Cool.i smiled because those are two Star Trek Bible ding.

Oh oh.the new keyboard had Google built in.

I’m disappointed that the word Bible doesn’t have any … Careful.

 

What I mean is

Yowsa.

The universe took away my keyboard again. .. Perhaps to stop me from bad mouthing the bible and alienating potential fans.

Choosing who you side with in life,  be it spouce or church or party or network. .. Whoever you ride with will occasionally disagree with but hopefully not on too many that matter.

Tired.  That may not make sense.

I need the universe to make me react. Tonight’s dinner may have done that.

Or not.

210am.

I had interesting sex with a 2 dollar whore in my second Life.

It was quite real and I failed miserably but ended up actually having decent avatar sex.

….

I believe I can switch from needing this confidence boost to a new life that keeps me in any position where I get to see and earn the smiles of people.

I am fueled by smiles and blue sky.

In my universe, when I believe it,it is so.

The story is what remains.

There is great power to those who understand what it really means. The story is all. What you believe is your truth.

There is great power to the ones who come to realize the truth.

Reality only exists at the moment of now. Everything in our universe is the story were told and the stories we Tell.

When you fully understand that reality is irrelevant and a good storyteller can succeed almost anywhere.

I enjoy working on my own. Tonight at dinner I threw out all sorts of signs and signals and life boats.

I’m trying to catch a fish with my own brand of hint lures.

….

If this gets noticed and praise makes me ok…

Blank.

I talked a lot.

I spilled my drink

Was I super high tonight?

I can’t believe how I just blurted it out to a guest. Arrogantly perhaps .

Was I an ass? Was I the loud drunk?

 

 

 

 

 

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