I see so much about Autism and ADHD on my social media feeds these days, it’s gotten to a saturation point where they are practically the only posts I get to see. The same faces showing up daily on TikTok or Reels are now celebrities in the ADHD community, posting videos and spreading awareness about today’s new terminology. Then the reaction videos and comments that say the exact same things in different ways and hairstyles
It all makes sense now. Things I wish I knew. Stuff I thought was just me are the top posts I see over and over. Masking and injustice sensitivity and object permanence are the phrases everyone is discovering and relating to with their versions. I see mixed couples with neurodivergent and neurotypical partners coping and selling books and others making exciting new careers out of their newfound fame and popularity.
They are not as representative of me as I initially believed. I don’t see the ADHD community members who stay at home in their basement pretending to be normal and convincing people they’re fine. People like me.
This resurgence of discovery is having both positive and negative effects on many people. I can’t unmask and reveal the true me. I don’t like that guy. I’m not sure who I am without the pretence. I like pretending to be normal. I like being liked, and then after 15 minutes I can French exit the social event and return to my bed in the basement. That’s how it’s always been.
If I wanted to be more authentic to myself now, I’m not sure people would believe it. I mask well in short bursts. How could I expect anyone to believe I stare at the ceiling in depression 14 hours a day when they only know me as fun, Jeff.
They may be raising awareness but they’re still not changing the minds of people who have a different belief. Claiming you have a different brain has been met with even more resistance and disbelief than the centuries minorities, homosexuals and women spent trying to convince people they didn’t have different brains.
And then you tell them you suffer from a condition that supposedly disabled that brain and stops you from being able to do the tasks and chores you need to do. that is a hard sell to anyone who manages to finish things they don’t enjoy.
I’m part of that and even I’m skeptical that is not an elaborate whine invented by the generation of whiners. It makes sense to me the way my brain craves dopamine to stay on task and fails without it, but I’m not sure it’s not the same for the buck-it-up sugar cup generation. Nobody wanted to walk 10 miles to school uphill, but before we named ADHD, people did it.
I am ashamed to unmask and claim special privileges especially now that so many people are publicizing it. I feel like a con artist wearing a fake cast to get a better parking space. Worse. I feel like a guy with a broken leg and cast using the better parking space and seeing the disgust on the faces of everyone assuming I’m the former.
Gee, thanks. A new reason to stare at the ceiling and mope.
And blog.
