Heavy breathing after a half of the hypnosis. I probably don’t talk enough about my fascination with recreational hypnosis. That’s not for tonight, but I start the blog mentioning that I just came out of a very new and exciting recreational hypnosis recording halfway through because when I’m relaxed the ideas start flowing. It was very hard to Bee Tools to forget them.
OOC Google voice must be coming out slow on purpose because it has far to go, but some improvements seem obvious to me.
The 2017 version at least left they keyboard on, but not active.
Ding. A fine example of the way my mind works. The Shiney objects and the squirrels are real, and focus on off the drug are getting shorter . I am a joy junkie and in my universe I feel pride points, I feel joy when I realize something new.
I now know…. Oh shit.
Ok…. I don’t want to fly off but I’m like a weather reporter in a hurricane telling you not to go out in a hurricane mean while having to watch into the storm to actively dodge out if the way of flying stop signs, flying roofs, cows, and other assorted debtor at 200km an hour.
My mind debates the wording more as I type. I should state for the record and irvitipsy, ooooooo. Audience boos. I hear imaginary feed back and I must decide.
I can say that it is my goal to be faithful to the live nature of these writings as I think. Typing at the speed of though, but through the practice of writing more, combined with the confidence that allows for the joy of pride.
Realization light bulbs.
I just realized I lived so long without pride.
Without the concept of worth and pride and winning. Before they named a.dd as a thing, I was just the child that was so hard. Smart but ‘lazy”. Not living up to my potential and dividing my attention 95% to one thing at a time and if it’s exciting enough, 100% and I lose connection.
Sings, always looking forward, because we can’t find reverse.
???? The Firm – “Star Trekkin'” – ORIGINAL VIDEO – HQ – YouTube
I am on coke again. Big lines. I do not do it because I want to die… But in a weird way,
Ding. Nuclear movie. I need it as a core Bible story. The concept that some things in our universe are so simple, we are intentionally taught a take reality.
I never liked the term lazy. Lmy apparent lazy was annoying as hell much of the time, but does allow me to abuse it now and then as a free pass. I am led to believe Bill Gates said he liked to hire lazy People because they often came up with ingenious ways to make everything as simple as possible.
Of course the quote is more likely from some uncredited person because he wasn’t famous yet. For somebody seeking praise as they release their genius slowly to the world.
Ding. Common conversation online uses the term, that moment when,vfollowed by a shared memory moment.
That moment when you realize, Holy shit. They like me… They really like me.
What if I’m actually good… Or great?
And now I’m crazy.
I don’t want
Mind flood. Excitement pride points
… And then, just as that little girl had just figured out the secret to life, the universe and everything was demolished. The Earth was destroyed to make way for a hyowrvsoeead bypass by the vigobs
Need mind break, drink, rest.
No. Finish thought.
I am not doing … But… But I am. I’m doing a lot of drugs recklessly knowing I will due one day. Maybe soon, but that has been accepted, but not planned for.
It’s weird. I don’t want to die at all.
Im actually enjoying a life where I put all my problems in the storagevares… i didnt wsntbto say cliset. Under the bed is too dirty. Arvhives..
I put anything negative on the floor to get to later. Qsince I hurt my back last week I have not been able to bend to the floor.
However if you know you won’t finish the plan as a given, does it really matter when you quit? When you realize you’ve been doing the exact same things over and over expecting a different result but -uoure not willing to vkaim insane… then a surprise death allows fir a slightly less angry fruends let down.
Suicide breeds and spreads as equally troubled circle of friends contemplate their universes.
When designing a universe, the origin story is a very complex part of it. I am starting to realize a hard to believe origin story only makes sense if you’re using it as part of the chore if belonging. Church offers you a lot of support but they ask you to do a lot of things you don’t want to fir the privages.
If my origin story is told as a non absolute story. I realized everyone chooses to believe in either an origin story, or cling to the outrageous belief that it’s better to just say nobody knows and be ok with that. You get to do everything and eat unrestricted, but you lose all the huge benefits of that community.
Break. I didn’t do the first one. Coke is different. It’s not for me I say, but variety is what will kill me.
Negative reviews, in my head.
End of part 2. Still wired.