I already know my mood has shifted in the time it took me to decide whether I’ve been using x of x wrong my entire life, because tat implies the two variable vales are the same. So then I had to decide if I should change it, and x of y didn’t make sense even though I understand X will always be a smaller number than y or the same, in which case x of x would work. If x isn’t first, the text isn’t regonized as an equation as quickly so y of x just doesn’t work for me. I settled on x of z for the title knowing it bothered me a bit, and the extra negative thoughts that there are possibly hundreds of times I used X of X incorrectly.
After all that mental debate and unsatisfactory conclusion, it is not surprsing that I didn’t let it go, and the blog suddenly was avoiding it’s objective and instead, I self-bicker internally about a far less relivant point. But I justify it as a fascinating example of how my brain works, almost in real time.
This post will not be the Instruction Manual for dealing with me and my ADHD and Austism. That story has been wiped away by new confusions and ponderings. Both the original and replacement idea are clearly just ways to waste time and avoid starting my day with te real stuff that needs to get done. Being self aware really sucks sometimes.
