It’s 2am and I’m having trouble falling asleep. There are three possible reasons but I have chosen to believe it is a mouse in the wall next to my bed. I declare it tonight’s story.
It certainly isn’t a twig on the window. It’s coming from inside the house.
It’s certainly not the fact that I have not slept much the previous two nights followed by heavier than usual smoky mornings so I’d stay awake and be productive. I was very focused and alert and in a great mood all day.
It couldn’t be the munchies I have been eating since I spent my budget on chocolate and food.
Maybe I’m just looking for an excuse to not sleep a reason to smoke even more and give up on this foolish endeavor.
Side note. As I was typing that last sentence, I realized I was going to use the word endeavour which excited me because it’s a big word and I don’t know if I’ve ever used it before. I’m guessing I probably have, but I do get excited when I think I’m using a good word for the first time ever.
Ok , I admit I may still be a little to spun to fall asleep. It’s that AND the mouse.
I should point out two things to fill out my story for the reader. First, we do have mice. Quite a noticable amount a few times a year. Our/my cat Chole enjoys the chase, but often like a sport fisherman, she’s more catch and release, and catch and release and catch and release. When the mouse dies, it’s usually not on purpose and the cat gets sad she exhausted her toy to death
The second fact to cloud the matter is where I sleep. My bed has its headboard to an outside wall and it’s left side bugs the bedroom wall. The wall which sites directly under where a couple of energetic small dogs sleep, or at 2am, may be scratching the floor in the precise spot that resonates down through the wall into the floor beside me in such a way as to sound like a mouse in the wall.
The philosophers would debate whether it matters either way. The reality does not have to be defined if the outcome is insomnia. It matters not why, just that it is. Blame is not an essential part of life. It is an excuse to avoid living it.
Pick one, be happy, and it becomes your truth. Then try sleeping through it… And when 15 more minutes pass by obsessing, get up, get high again and try again tomorrow. Why waste idle time wondering when you could be creating.
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I stopped smoking tonight around 7pm, but judging by how excited I got over word choice and structure in this blog, I’m still quite spun. I’m also still worried I didn’t close the back story of why philosophers of the world were checking out my blog. That seems unrealistic.
Yeah .. I hate this part of my night. Do I or don’t I? Sleep or fun up again and be disappointed because the anticipation was false advertising. 3am drugs are not as good as the mental promotion makes me think it will be, and yet that awareness isn’t sufficient to stop me
The bottom line is; I’m not sleeping anyway.
Works every time
