It’s almost Christmas. I’ve successfully avoided traffic, Christmas carols, malls, people, and seasonal depression.ivebalso avoided friends, a few of whom I actually miss. I ghosted my two regular girl friends a few years ago and overall I don’t regret the seperation, I know it was a truly mean way to run away and I could have done things differently, but it was easier to live in the rut than climb out. I chose the clean spontaneous don’t look back break. Mean and dramatic, but effective for me. Its a pattern of complete shutting off that reoccurs throughout my history.
Many relationships have a last moment. The day you never speak to someone again is usually not planned. It just happens, and nobody really notices. When it’s sudden and in the middle of a routine, it’s more obviously intentional and that leaves mystery and hurt. It’s not a nice feeling to be sure, and I’ve done it more than twice.
Breakups of anything that has become a part of your life routine will be a disturbance with huge ripple effects and often a cause for dramatic changes. Those two women needed a push to edge out of an unhappy rut. I hope they figured that out without me, because it was a bad rut to get comfortable in, and I tend to make people comfortable.
Even in horrid situations, like the last several relocations for me, I tend to accept and adapt, rather than seek out a better NOW.
I can’t tell for sure,But I think antidepressant give my brain permission to accept and adapt. When you can find a silver lining for anything, you accept content instead of buying new pajamas. Silver linings do a disservice to happiness.
The cat jumped on me just now and I realized I’d fallen back asleep completely losing the 6 o’clock hour. I guess that means I may have some regrets over this, but I can still sleep at night… Or in the morning as the case may be. Time to start another Monday.
