Let me be clear. I told Monday Jeff I’d do what I could, but I’m not giving up the torch just yet. I was close to the last line. The last of the drugs I will not settle that obscession in my mind, till I get —
I am talking as I write this, and I have caused my own distraction with the camera recording me as I type silently… I smile. I am far from silent. I am Weasy.
ding. Weasy was the pet name Mr Jefferson called his wife. I just now made the connection her character name was Louise. Today, I am very weasy.
I typed the begining of a great idea. My fingers forged out the first three words of a plan to —
And then I lost it. I know it had to do with my new found —
and then I lost it too. I am Weasy.
The understudy story that wanted to be told, it really semed like a good idea at the time story.
oh… so we’re doing this? This is how no Sunday night happened. The rush of the joy and pride, uninterupted by the second voice… from the cloud I add to the concept just now.
It’d be hilarious if it turns out the second voice that crushed my joy and kept me safe by being peffect… Val Kilmer, Genius. He’s been the voice all along through my tooth.
I stand by that joke, but am well aware that Real Genius was ine of those movies that has a small following of fans that just can’t – or won’t convince enough of his friends and peers to watch it… because its probably not as good as Iemember but my crush on the nerdy Velma like character that was right in front of him all along biased my choice.
I was …
I’m going to agree to be sad and stop transcribing my stream. It’s too much.
It was me. I knew I was bumping more than usual. I felt productive.
I felt exactly the way I would want to if I ordered a drug like this.
Hmmmmm… I wonder if big pharma earns more from illegal meth, which they make the base chemicals for and replace billions of gallons in insurance claims annually than a pill would.
I know I would never be able to aford a $100 a month perscription… but don’t even think withdrawing and re-upping with my last rolled coins, and then having clearance Pop Tarts cold as a part of a balanced breakfast, along with my Hershey’s kisses and Candy.
I pay $40 a week on Candy. I only made it 5 days.
I pay over $100 a month on the …
I don’t want to list my budget here in an open blog… and yet I know that if I decide not to, it won’t be done.
I have said it in words. It will not be done. Even now, a talking pizza flyer stole my attention, and it wasn’t even there. sleep now.
4:45. Sleep wasn’t responding to my texts.
I didn’t eat food today. I was about to, but she was in the phone and I would have forced that ending. For a mac and cheese or a chicken pene as usual. If I can fall asleep before the pains come back.
At times like this when I am almost goating my health. When I change positions in bed or need to move, and it hurts for a moment with something new… I ignore it, and it goes away.
I keep expecting the “until it doesn’t” but I seem to be pretty healthy. I think coffee, pop, alcohol, cigarettes were all destroying everyone else. I did none. I didn’t even masterbate till I was 27. If I aged like a tree, when you cut me in half and look at my rings, 27 would be an inch wide.
As I hit return on that line, I wonder about the future of inside jokes only I get. When I was the target audience, I could make myself smile with the joy of a well placed callback or cutaway. An anology that provides that ourpose, but onethat also scores imaginary poinnts we never seem to tally.
When I break that barrier, jokes not enjoyed might in fact be confusig and working against you.
5pm. I really should. The yodling ah-eyahhhhh man in the corner… thats too hard to describe with on…
Shuld I fake a pee break and tell her?
back. ready to sleep.
Theres always money in the Banana Stand.