It’s April 23rd. I haven’t gotten any cheques yet from Aproil because I mailed them out late. I’m trying to live off my budget, after 24 months pf rich guy lifestyle… within limits. but I got caught in a mindgame that distracted me until I on;y had a small amount… and living 1 to 2 thousand dollars a month beyond my 25 year dwindled customere base.

I wish I could promote my business with pride, but that negative voice talks up and like Allen Shore, wwe rem,ember it. WE don’t do the thing.

I know I need to do this. I literally could be homeless.  The problem ;lies in that every other time, yadda yadda yadda and I’m ok again.

My univefrse seems to take care of me, in much the same way as Jesus might be looking out for others. You can easily start to see signs that your universe is made for you, and … well… This is stronger when I’m high of course.

I have ignored problems and they actually have gone away… like a flukey amount. My creditors just stopped asking after a while.

My income has made it through… which is a lie, because I’ve always fallen a little short and thats how debt started.

I convinced myself I was doing ok, spending 800 and paying 1000 but I forgot that the interest was almost 500 and I hadn’t noticed it till I was at a huge limit.  I don’t know if this is a story after the fact, or the truth, so I tell it as truth.

If I believe it,

it is so.

At least in my universe

I’m Jeff Goebel, and I’m trying to explain my universe without actually having read anything at all, no science knowlege beyond TV shows like Beakmans World. (big fan)  Beakman was A.D.D kids version of Bil Byle.

I always liked Julious Sumner Miller.  I’ll remember his name forever.

Hilarious House of Frightenstein.  I learned some cool stuff from him, like bringing your fingers together whilet they balance a yard stick.

Where was I?

Lets start over.  As usual, my mind is ahead of me tonight, bounving with excitement it hasn’t shared with me yet.

I’m trying to thnk at the speed of my fingers, and pace my typing like I would words. I must remain quiet tonight because me being high and irrespensable like this offends her curretly.  That sounded meaner than I intende it to be. My roomate is goig through a mental rebirth and is learning life all over again with severe depression.  I try to keep her happy.  I will ttypoe and try my best not tothump the spacebar as I do. Its this two finger method I use means I am pounding a full finger on a huge bar. The plastic on any keyboard I try is loud. I would guess she can hear that, and she is enough like me to not be able to let go and ignore theinsanity of an inconsistent but continuing click, bump, beep or clank.

I do not know the depts of her darkness, but I try to keep ger as happy as I can. It gives me a purpose, and a false pat on the back for taking in a rescue.

I’ve used that term before and I cringe and pause each time. If I were talking to you, I might call my situation like taking in a rescue. I’m not using her time here for actual gain or pride… and yet, I do hope she understands and appreciates, maybe one day… the effort.

I can’t have it both ways they say. I can’t need praise and say I don’t and then miss it so.

Fuck all that.  I saw a friend in need. AFter conversations, I said yes, and welcomed one of my very best fruiends, of not my best.

SHe had been damaged by a single life changing incident that ended with her living in a hospital for a while.  During that time, all her belongings were put in a shipping container storage for

STOP

I was tellingher story, and it’s not mine ti tell.  I accepted the responsability for her healing process. It’s been a challenge at times and I’ve not been the man  want to be… I’ve crossed lines and said horrible things.

I spoke them out loud, to her in a rant.

I don’t remember much, but I remember it was meaner than it needed to be, and I would not shut up.

I was in withdral grumpiness.

I lost it… twice weeks apart.

It’s hard portarying the yesman and I exhaled my mind.

It has damaged oyur elationship. In my head especially, but I’m not sure in her head.

She is not the best friend I knew before… but I think this caterpillar may yet blossom and show us all.

I’m her kickstarter acceletor center.

I’d like nothing more than for her to find happiness and direction.

WHere was I?

Book title”: Right, now… where was I?

Ah yeas. The seach for a quietr keyboard.

I was going to describe the android tablet app that lets me use my Android keyboard for the desktop. Quiet AND autocorrect.

/me runs to try it, despite the fact he was aboutto sign off.