Time is flying past me without many timestamps. I’m doing the same things over every day, with no memorable events to take note of. 

When I notice it’s the weekend again and can’t remember last week because it wasn’t and different than the week before. The loops.

When you start to look at life in bulk rather than the now, patterns emerge that don’t get noticed as you live moment to moment. You remember just doing something a day ago, but it might have been every Wednesday for 4 months.

I hit the blah mood. That time that comes up in my idle time. Not depression exactly, but more evaluation of my non productive life.  I bounce up and down between excitement of ideas and frustration of not following up on those ideas. 

I try new things every time, hoping one might catch, but secretly knowing I’ll give up or sabotage it. I’ll look to a new idea instead of the old idea. The dopamine doesn’t get me interested on day 2.

This loop is mostly because my computer is dead and I’m still poor.