I took the DMT that lasts 5 hours instead of 20 minutes. In a bad set and setting. I only experienced hell for a brief time. My hypnosis traing helped me break the loop.
oh.. right. I wanted to tell the story of hearing a friend who is troubled and lost her place briefly and not having time to react to horrors because its not stopping.
She lived above me 5 years ago, and today she is my next chapter.
chapter whatever. A new hope.
my life story can be read as seperate chapters.
who did i bond with for 5 years.
who took care of me.
one… no…. my all time favorite companion was my roommate. I learned her back story slowly, and we both had a January 1 rebirth at Fan Expo. She dressed sexy and got attention. her world changed.
see: one fan
the moment of realization. a switch. the oooooh moment.
i rode that baby hard on dmt.
for syndi it was the moment she realized maybe … could people like me? maybe i’m cooler than i thought.
chapter x. jeff 2.0. level up.
im on jeff 53 now, and excited for a chnange… like the mooooo….whoooo… thats neat. I’m still typing that tune. I tapped each new level of realization. The moment your brain gets it.
many many people give up before they do.
There is some realization that I experienced tonight….The theme of the high was each step backwards through the chain.
There is a realization that moves slow and fast. It is intentionally dran out. I’ve already kinda figured out the ending… but I still ride the rollar coaster for a while.
Each new way out is blocked. Hope, crushed.
Like in hithikers guide. Were about to die in the vaccuum of space.
No, I was only joking. were going to die.
And then a zeppelin appears and your talking to a depressed robot.
It was fun thinking without guikt. I write and talk with the need to be perfect.
yadda yadda yadda. oh look, a zep… right. there it is, when my stream of thought switches on. I fall into trance.
i caught myself doing it.
When i give birth to a new thought, it is mid word often. I pause, and then start the song that was the loop.
when you are a stream of thought, you can’t go back… you have to work your struggle to find anything to cling to. I ended that thought and am in need of a new one.
its a tune. it was the rhytm of my realizations, and with each new one, a repeating cycle of thoughts adjusted for the new universe. I can best describe it as that flash TV shows us when somebody just changed the past, but our timeline is always forward so suddenly we’ve always known kung fu and my teacher mr hooper had a lisp.
that was a tangent distraction.
itll come back. I’ll remeber more in pieces. I could write 50 books on theexperiences but it would be blank. It was a flood of understanding brought to me in memories of the past. DMT taked top me like Bumblebee transformer talks by assembling clips of our audio tones from the radio.
he has a soundboard.
no language. just stories
I wasn’t allowed to bring a camera or kyboard. dmt is not to be shared.
fight club rules.
these are not the droids youre looking for.
“we can not know what we do not know, but I am glad evolution has given us a plesure sensation when we learn omething new.deep.
My brain can make out some memories that have been blocked. Like that ghost voice youd sometimes get when magnetic audio tape is on a reel, and sometimes the sounds from this moment of recorded now, can be heard like the voice upstairs in the apartment. You can hear the …. there is a certain satisfaction to some realizations. They hit me like a metior. Azepplin is what were thinking about now. life moves at the speed of light, or rather our witness of the now that just happened, followed by the realization.
I have had a few. ok, this might be death coming. i have x seconds. what do I want to die thinking of. I only get one shot. I run through my best of really fast. joke #32. Pokemon as a fist. pokemon is a win. guarenteed smile
lost it. I’m tired. Id like to sleepbut I suspect I wont.