I can’t decide if I want anyone to read these or not. My genius may be well hidden in idiocy. I may not be the smartest person on earth. I may not actually have come up with the unified theory of everything that scientists search for. I think I just might have, but if I share, I could be wrong… and thought a fool.
Weed with confidence makes me believe my ideas are awesome and #investmentworthy #prideworthy but I’ve never really went back after the high.
I just wrote, often in first person quickly as the thoughts hit me. I know I had some good moments but sadly I may not be as amazing as I want to believe. The negative nelly is just sayin’
However the main difference between me and somebody who actually gets things started and/or done… is they either don’t have or hear the negative voice, or they have a much stronger positive voice.
I take drugs, to try and suppress the negative voice for an hour or 12. I like to think and not instantly crush my joy.
My ideas blossom outward like one of those fireworks with one more pop you didn’t expect… and then 4 more.
I start small, as an idea hits me, often mid sentence on another topic. I get excited. An idea for a product or service, or an idea to teach or film.
Usually the idea is small enough it’s totally doable. If I was that type of person… blah blah blah.
Interruption memory. When I was on acid, I was trying to post a classic really high concept, but it seems to be one that doesn’t want to be written. I may not be able to explain it now. The memory faded.
There are memories that come to me, which are a loop of the thought or concept before,and when high, I can get caught in the loop.
I would do something memorable and it would trigger a whole routine of thought I’d have to say over again… Nope. A story I can’t remember at this level of high.
The Title: When I read it, I hear a sound bite which may be 3 stooges but is probably something from the Stern Universe. What I mean however, is that I have come to the realization that I am terrified of faiure or success.
Either is change and I’ll have to change.
I don’t care if nobody ever reads this. I really am tempted to share it all. Some vey wild blogs and videos over the years.
Several scenarios are awful. Fame without success or income can be frustrating and perhaps embarrassing.
I don’t wan to be famous, I just want a few fans