Intersted enough to start

General Blog Messages

nawww… The mood isn’t right, and I knew it.  I am having a morningthat seems a litle more profound than others. I am in that odd limbo of mood where I have thoughts that I feel are intersting enough, but…

Intersted enough to start

nawww… The mood isn’t right, and I knew it.  I am having a morningthat seems a litle more profound than others. I am in that odd limbo of mood where I have thoughts that I feel are intersting enough, but nodoby around to share them with… but even as I begin to click the icon to popen up my blog editior to post, I know iot’s not the right feeling.  We;ve come to a point in our history when we can see something new in our lives. The first dare bluff has been elected presideant and a great many people are paying attention to the news for the very firsttime in their lives everywhere, but it’s the worst time to be picking up a casual intesst innews, because you caught them in a new erea for them too.

The concept ofnews has changed a lot in my lifetime. Manykey changes have changed the way we view news and morerecently, the awareness that news is notwhatI learned about in journaislm class. News does not report what is happening, it shapes what we care about and keeps us with a shared awareness and a view of the opinionb we side with,

I remember it was only a few years ago when it became clear to me that all media, not just some has a slant to one side of politics or the other. Not as blaytent as some, news is still drive to a demograophical preference, and not knowing that is pretty impportant.


This recent election that saw a great percentage of the population accept being labled as ignorant, wear that badge with styule and still consider the concept that dumb people camn still have a ptride in being dumb, ifyou tell them they were right, and won.  Ifa person doesn’t understand they are the butpof a joke, is it stil mean? I haveactually struggled with this in my real life since I was a kid. I never really liked joes that got theirlaugh from another person’s stupidity, but there is a certain joy in getting the laugh about that person, woithout them realizing it.

If an ignorant petrson doesn’t know why you’re laughing, but it seems to be with him, so he laughs… is that happinbess or mean? Right now, themedia in front of me is filled with showing one half of the world, the other half of the people, and pointing right at them with a camera and mocking them.  Continusously. I see interviews of Trump supportes on all the late night shows, and they are always made tio look foolish. It’s been educational not only to learn what it;s like to have a brain that stops at the happiness feelings, before thinking anything more is a risk that I might not be so hapy.

When I read and share  an article headline thatsays smarter people are unhappy, it’s because they have more awareness in their headto juggle. The rich sometimes dream of the life they could notknow, or being ppor, while the poor often dream of a life where they would experience being rich. The King of Spoain swaps places with a Zamboni driver for a day, is a somng lyric based on many stories of thatfantasy. Smart people can conecpulize of whatliving in ignoramce might be like, but they can’t really.

Different people find ways to be happy, and one way is to figure out that you are the one that gets to decide whatyou worry about. My life may notbe enhanced by the awareness that everywhjere onearth there are humans at a different level of awareness and  care.

Everytchild will experience the moment they see something fior the firsttime, and add it to their knowldge. Sometimes you get to be 53 before you figureoutyou’ve been eating bananas all wrong you life.


I amalready tired and it’s mornimg.  FRiday.  A day I needed to be good and motivated to complete work, but instead I have figured out a way to not let this failure bother me. I have eviolved to gain the skillto not feel as bad when I let somebody else down. I used togetsick that I could not make people happyon time, but after you slip once or twoce and see the vast difference between what you percveeive yourself tobe, and what othersare willing to accept andstil be pleased is an eye opener.


I had been holding mysef to a high standard of perfection and feeli f bad when I failed, when I now learn that the secret others learned earlier, is thatnobody does that. EVeryone learns eventually thattside world always expects less of you than you

do.  I can fail a lotbefore they call it a fail.

That can either make you sad, or happy.  Life is easier as youIf I don’t try, then I can live with the “faith” thatmy failires are myfault. My work is genuiius and I could havebeen as famous


grow older because you realize nody was giving you credit for the good you weredoing to make an impression when they already like you and have an impression that is higher than I can concieve already.

I am not pleased with this writin.  It was not a good print of the ideas that I was thinking because I did a lot of itin between the words, not through them.

I am nearing that point in an activities life when you can see it isn’t  progressing beyojnd a level of contentment.  The writings on my computer are stored and ignored. They were just ways to express my thoughts as I was thinmking them, but until I startactually sharing and caring, then …

I reached the point where I started to use things as excuses, and that gives them power.  If I can blame my mental illness for not getting my first book published when I was 16, and continue to tell the story of the things I could have done if it werenot for…

At some point in yourlife, you realized you gave yoiurself thatfree out. A reason to not feel horrible about my life was that I was conditioned to …

A cop,mplex idea. I’m not in the mood to give it ustice here.I am in the mood where even my greatest work is seen and questioned. Everything I have been saying for 50 yearsas goals, is dependant on my work actually bejing good enough to be a success if I ever take the gtime and energy to ask for the he;lp I need to make it.



keyboard bounced and paragraphs are outof place.  This is not a pride worthypiece.  I’ve said everyting in thuis beforw,  I’m just making noise to replace the work I am ignoringand not realzie it til later.



All it takes to startsomething is to stop not starting.



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