Indentifing the symptoms. A new problem
I am experiencing a mental block that’s trying to prevent me from continuing work on my new website project. I’ve had enough time to overthink and predict future failures so my excitement and enthusiasm in the creation of the project has dipped a little. This is not a new thing for me. It’s actually the… Read More »

Indentifing the symptoms. A new problem

I am experiencing a mental block that’s trying to prevent me from continuing work on my new website project. I’ve had enough time to overthink and predict future failures so my excitement and enthusiasm in the creation of the project has dipped a little.

This is not a new thing for me. It’s actually the opposite and the new thing is how well I was working on it for so long. I give that to the drugs. The drug definitely allowed me to be excited for much longer than usual and to continue working on a project which is huge. I’m still excited about the idea and I still will continue to develop it but it’s harder to get started than it was.

The thing that I find most interesting is that society is on the verge of letting me use this ADHD as an excuse to not try. Executive function they call it and people are online every day telling the world that they want to do it but that they can’t do it and that that’s a part of their brain chemistry that can’t be changed.

Last year they would have just tried harder and eventually got it done. That’s what people with ADHD have been doing or failing at for years. But now, people are starting to believe that it’s okay to not be able to do things. That’s a slippery slope that will almost definitely be abused by people who don’t have ADHD and are just figuring out the loopholes in this new system. In the same way that unqualified people get benefits from the government, this new classification of mental illness may allow a lot more people to get away with a lot more things.

I’m not sure that there is a solution, and I’m not trying to be little the real struggles that exist. I am a good example of someone who just can’t do things and no matter what the consequences, they won’t get done. I’ve been homeless almost twice in the last two years and that’s a good example of just not being able to do things that I want to do and that are easy to do but thanks to my brain they just don’t happen.

At least this web project doesn’t have the other obstacles that block me. There’s no one waiting for me and no one nagging me that I’m past the deadline. It is literally the only thing I had to do everyday except watch TV, feed the animals, and eat too much junk food. It is my task and it will progress at least a little farther until reality sets in and I realize it’s either too big a project for me, or it’ll cost too much or no one felt this was a need that had to be filled except me.

I realized a little while ago I am no longer a good demographic example. My needs and wants are not the same as the masses and that came as a surprise to me a little bit. I always thought I knew what the general public would like. I am not the general public.

It’s not even 9:00 a.m. yet. The mood can swing several times today before noon and work will begin at some point. Once it starts it flows nicely. It’s the starting wall of negativity that has to be breached.

I’ll figure it out.

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