Tomorrow is the first day of March and I’m going to be in deep trouble because of poor planning and organization. My bank account is overdraft probably about negative 100 by now but maybe negative 150 since they keep charging me $45 every time an auto deposit is rejected and some of the auto deposits try more than once. So that’s problem number one.
Problem number two is that I will shortly be out of chocolate and groceries and still don’t have access to a car. The lack of chocolate will be more noticeable than usual due to some of the additional problems that will be listed next.
Although I do have another month’s supply of my antidepressant Paxil, the drug that keeps me awake and motivated and focused to do things rather than be a lump on the bed just watching TV all day has just run out. Waking up tomorrow will be difficult. I had originally saved up enough money to rebuy but didn’t and now clearly I’m out of funds. I do have the check that will arrive next week that could pay for it however, we’re not done with my problems yet.
Scanning my invoice program It appears that this month has a number of domain renewals but only one host income customer. I’m not sure how that happened because I try to keep each of the three cycles reasonably even so that my income is more balanced. The incoming amount from that one customer would pay my hosting fees, and perhaps some of the domain renewals but there would be nothing left for food or recreational drugs.
It looks like this might be the month I take some action towards finding some financial assistance from the government but that is so difficult for me it’s going to be.. I can’t even comprehend. My brain shuts down even thinking about it.
And I have to do all of that without the comfort of being high. I have a hard time believing that would be better than tackling it under the influence but you got to do what you got to do.
Unless something else turns up and I don’t have to which is usually what happens but I can’t count on it. I had a potential web design job that would have given me about $500 probably but I tried focusing to accomplish that task without my focus medication and ended up laying on the bed writing this blog instead.
