A moment passed just now, and in that moment, I spontaniously had a new idea. I love new ideas. They’re often filled with hope and joy and pride.
A visual lightbulb appears in my memory for just a moment, and then I feel compelled to write this down, I need to make a change.
I have used my willingness to make changes in who I am or how I walk, or how I eat, or how I blurt out totally random, and sometimes cruel opoinions stated as facts.
I’m always working to evolve and these past few months have been filled with lots of change, and I am not ashamed to admit I evolve a lot because of my drug usage.
Tonight, while in my dark bedrom aone again, high for the fifth weeknight in a row without any excuse. I am aware I have a problem, and it occured to me that my stuggle might be a story people could follow.
I don’t want to be famous
I just want a few fans
This week I posted two long winded ramblings of a 52 year old single guy with no dating skills. Theyy are quirky and show more of my personality than a list of things I wouldn;t really consider deal breakers if we’d met without a list.
I admit to having equal parts of anxiety for and against these two posts being noticed. Perhaps cross posted to reddit, and of course in my fantasy – as a sweet story, rather than a laugh-at-him desperate old loser.
I would prefer to be famous on my merets rather than my failures
Tonight I made a desion, and even now as I put it to print, I am softening the absolute nature of my own thoughts. I do my best to live in a non absolute universe.
I sat up, and decided to move to the desktop. I should learn to enjoy the creative side of my stone out at my desktop with a more suitable posture.
I believe my curent set of aches are rel;ated to computing with bed postures.
So I moved out here, where I probably have a better correction system and I can multitask in two universes simultaniously. There are moe ways to meet women than fake dating sites.
3D Avatar bowling alley.. here I come. To lazy for real bowling? Perfect!
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