The new term is ghosting, but simply stopping contact with people has been a thing forever. I’m guilty of it. I stop contact with people now and then. Most people probably do.
Sometimes we do it and the other person doesn’t know why. They don’t realize they’ve been ghosted, and may not know of a reason so they feel a loss. They’re confused or angry that all contact was abruptly stopped. They have no sense if closure.
It’s cruel. It’s worth than a death because you can see the person via social media continuing a life. It seems very personal.
I used to call it divorcing the person because it seemed an appropriate term back then. I’ve done it three significant times in my life and I’m aware it’s mean. I’m aware that I don’t need to use this method of un-friending somebody. I know I could discuss whatever reason I have, but in the moment, I just cut them out.
Ghosting is absolute. You give no reason. You just break contact and stop responding to any requests for contact. I generally hate that I do it. I know it’s hurtful, but once you’ve done it, it’s difficult to resume a relationship.
People ghost for different reasons. For me, I make assumptions about the future and choose to take that person out of my future for personal reasons. To lessen the stresses that the relationship causes. It’s impossible to generalize here in a blog.
The relationships I have are deep and when the affect my happiness on a regular basis, I opt out. I wish I didn’t do it in a hurtful way it’s easy and the guilt fades quicker for me than the frustration dies for the ghosted party.
A number of loyal and good friends ghosted me that moment they discovered I was a drug user. It frustrated me but at least I understood the motive.
During my personal growth and evolution I ghosted others that didn’t fit in my new life model and therapy and road to happiness.
I regret the process, but not the action. I can’t keep people in my life that disturb or bother me. I hope they have a good life… Without me.
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