Last night I decided to try something different in my routine this morning, and I did. I hope I don’t regret it. I’ve been telling anyone who will listen that I’m feeling just a few notches above content these days. I have more or less accepted and adapted to life in BC. This is my life now so I settle in and stop complaining.

Yo be fair, I don’t think I complained much. I think I may have been complaining a lot, and that may not change, but I’m truth, ibhavge been missing a fantasy version of what my life in Toronto actually was. I say I miss the bustling life of a big city but I have not had that for at least eight years and if I remember it more accurately, I never lived the life I am remembering. It’s more a realization that here, there is virtually no hope that I will be able to. Toronto at least had hope.

That, and public transit, food and grocery delivery, friends to see movies with, lunch with and the occasional game night. I was still alone living inside my head every other day, but the potential to be social on demand was there, and it’s not here.

One of the things that tipped me past the content level towards happiness has to be attributed to an increase in my drug of choice. Currently the only drug I have had access to. With a few scattered exceptions over the pastv3bsnd a half years, I am a daily meth user. No weed, no acid, and no Molly or ecstasy. And I don’t get high on meth. I feel elevated by it in a totally different way.

It has allowed me to find the kind of focus I suspect is closer to the mindset others experience. I can find njoy in that focus and take part in a hobby like never before. Since the only obligation I have here is less than an hour a day, this was vital to my literal survivor out here. If I had 16 hours a day with nothing to do, I would have cracked.

I probably would just have adapted a different way, getting back to my former tv junkie watching everything for 50 plus hours a week. On meth I am working all day and watch less than 3 hours a week.

I’m between I surf the social networks and participate with content and comments I feel are adding something. Social media portals are my exposure to the world and I stay current. Evaluating life has always been a favourite past time and this year is going to be the event of my generation. I have been expecting something since 9.11 

Every generation seems to have a restless shake up, and sadly it often transitions with power grabs that result in acwar, or more likely the war was the goal and the event is the secret intention that starts the change to justify it.

This is a huge transitional time in my life and I’m glad I get to be a spectator. It could freak me out if I were more active in Toronto because it is virtual impossible to have friends these days and not discuss politics or at least what’s going on in the USA that is influencing descent.

People have been forced to have an opinion whether they want to. The is vs them movement is strong and for the vgutdt time in my life, it’s clear how brains flock with different ideology and less obvious, but clear to me how leaders know it and use it to seize power and keep it.

 Many conspiracy theories are true and big change like this expose some of them incidentally to people who are paying attention. Those who prefer to live their lives coasting fall victim to the ones who are diverting the stream they flow freely down.

The new Nazi trend is so obviously well planned and 90% of America seem to be frogs in the pot letting it boil white saying it’s fine.

People I respect are not fleeing or fighting. They are sleeping in the canoe not taking action because they’re not yet the ones being captured or killed. Their water is nice. Sure it feels warmer but they realize they like hot better now.

I just now noticed this blog post fell victim to it too. My intent was to journal my morning routine change and eventually, without noticing, I’m talking about the work and politics too. I understand the need to be oblivious. It’s been my setting for much of my life, but I equally understand the need for enteryainment. The danger comes from moderation like it dies for anything gun. If everyone is at the movies and comedy clubs, we don’t notice our neighbourhood has a shrinking invisible population until they are knocking on our foor.

So I I return to the topic. Why I am so excited this morning. I woke up at 4,:45 today. I went to pee and then came back and had a fantastic session of my  unique style of porn and pumping.. about seven vigorous minutes with. This is not usually a part of my morning, but what I did in the bathroom was the catalyst.

I shoved a raw unprotected or diluted shardbup my ass. I boofed a significant chunk of meth amphedemine directly into the soft tissue just above the crease the distance of my middle finger.

There is some debate on whether the sticking of the middle finger up your ass is the basis of why we use that same gesture as a fuck you symbol based off the male prostate test. I like some of the other explanations better, not that it matters.

So to recap, I am not high, but I am elevated far more than normal. After the master nation, I turned on some 90svrave beats and started this post. I have been a super positive mood hardly pausing to notice the dude effects that hint at danger. Must drink water now.

A good time to end and try some other morning tasks while the heightened feeling lasts and inspires. 

I’m orange Jeff and I think this post is super well written and relatable and one of my best ever. That is why I enjoy meth right there.  It makes my life choices seem correct in theoment without noticing.

End of part 1.

6:00am. The temptation to go poo it out is high but manageanle.