Hard Times

The last two years started this week. Job loss, car loss, home loss. I managed to find a new home for 70 days and then a new home again where I am now. It happened fast. This time I’ll have…

The last two years started this week. Job loss, car loss, home loss. I managed to find a new home for 70 days and then a new home again where I am now. It happened fast.

This time I’ll have some money and need to find a home fast again but without relying totally on luck and the kindness of friends.

And yet- it seems harder than finding a free place to stay. Having people offer free space was an absolute miracle, and to have it happen twice so quickly is hard to believe.

Three times would be pushing it. I am content to find a more real and long term solution this time but I’ll admit — having one offered up to me was so much easier.

Having to look and apply is so much harder, I’m falling into old ways and ignoring it. I’m not doing anything towards that goal… And the deadline approaches day by day.

The closer I get to April 1, the more competitive the housing will be. Students out of school will snatch up all my options because I’ll procrastinate my replies. I already lost one prime location by not responding quickly with action.

I also have not told my landlord here of my change. That is an easy to avoid confrontation. It’s mean.

So I sleep and avoid. My brain hints that some amphetamine would help. I resist only because that also requires effort, money, and a trip to the city.

Let’s see what Tuesday brings. Starting is harder than doing. I must not sabatage this opportunity, even while my brain is convincing me; it’s not so bad here. The ants in my bed hardly bit much at all anymore.