Disguised excuses
Every now and then I take note of something in my life that is different than I remember it being. The question I always ask myself is, is this because of my drug use or because I’m almost 60 years old. The good news is, whichever one I wanted to be it can be. In… Read More »

Disguised excuses

Every now and then I take note of something in my life that is different than I remember it being. The question I always ask myself is, is this because of my drug use or because I’m almost 60 years old.

The good news is, whichever one I wanted to be it can be. In some cases it would be beneficial to blame the drugs and say I’m going to be off them again next week. We’ll see if it comes back or changes. Sometimes, I can say well I am getting old so there’s that.

My brain is fine with either answer. Whichever one comforts me more instead of dealing with the actual problem that I’m losing my memory or going crazy.

I’m pretty much blaming the drugs for my loss of creativity. My writing has changed from creative posts to descriptive posts talking about drugs or the pig or whatever. I have very few blog entries that I categorize as interesting or genius compared to a few years ago. I don’t come up with new business ideas or inventions anymore because all of my hopes and dreams have kind of been disappointments.

So today when I’m sitting in my bed thinking how dull my life is these days with no customer interactions and very few tasks to get done I wonder if this is life for the next 20 or 30 years assuming that I don’t die of heart failure. Maybe that one I’ll blame on the drugs and hope it goes away.

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