Day 2. Still not perfect

I know I should not be concentrating on the negatives but… I’m still smiling despite the setbacks. The amount of failing can hopefully make a numerous story. I am still sporting my long hair and full beard. Apparently all the…

I know I should not be concentrating on the negatives but… I’m still smiling despite the setbacks. The amount of failing can hopefully make a numerous story.

I am still sporting my long hair and full beard. Apparently all the neighbourhood barbers close at 6 or are the over $45 haircut stylists. I found a place to go to directly after work tonight. It’s a smart lesson to make all my evening plans before I leave work because it seems if I go home, I’m not going out again no matter what.

I had a few things I should have bought at Dollarama, which is visible across the street but I didn’t go back out. I almost did, several times before it was 9pm and closed.

This morning I woke up with the sun at 6:30 and had my act together. I knew how long it was going to take to check in my phone, then I had a shower, a little bit of yesterday’s dinner for breakfast and that was out the door early enough to grab something to eat and some snacks and munchies for work.

None of the variety stores open before 8: 00am and the lineup at the Tim Hortons was too long to wait for him so I settled down and waited for an earlier bus it would get me to work with enough time to have something from Tim Hortons there.

It was only when the bus arrived that I realized I did not have my Metro Presto pass. Without this you cannot get on a bus.

I don’t think I’ve had cash in my wallet since 2020. Luckily, I had given myself that extra time so I made the walk back home, up the stairs and inside with time to spare except the card wasn’t there. It’s gone. Lost.

My mind fills with negativity. It’s time to quit this new job. It’s too much. I can’t do it. I’m a loser.

I mentally slap myself and consider alternatives, the easiest of which will cost me $30… But then I’ll be at work without a pass to get home.

Argh.

I go to eat some comfort breakfast nearby now that I have time. It was suitably wrong and horrible. I threw it out.

I decide to take a rideshare.

— Later —

I did not. I didn’t do much. I had failed and that triggers my failure thoughts. I’m so far out of my comfort zone and all my routines have been destroyed. I have no TV to watch. I have no computer to work on. I’m here alone, back in my apartment trying to remain positive and productive.

I can take this sick day and get my hair cut, maybe see my doctor, buy my groceries and denture care. I’ll even by TWO transit Presto cards.

I didn’t have to right mindset to call the boss. I sent a long message and I felt guilty. This was a new life change and it’s not a huge surprise it overwhelmed me. I would have been fine until I discovered I couldn’t board the bus.

Fuck.

Stay Tuned to see what happens next.