It’s been a while since I blogged and I didn’t really nnotice it until just this moment when I wasn’t thinking of anything. That’s not entirely true since I seldom I’m not thinking of anything but lately had been playing jingles in my brain over and over and over instead of actual thoughts. Occasionally interupting the music between tuned to think things.
I got distracted and am now typing the rest 5 hours later at 3:11 in the afternoon. I’m in a wave of depression feeling a need for my focus meds. My best customers has lost his patience with my unresponsiveness. I hate that my best customers still need to communicate verbally and I don’t like that pressure.
Especially if you are starting out angry. My don’t yell at me defence still thinks avoidance is better than confrontation although I secretly know not everything should get thrown over the wall of tomorrow.
I’ve been without the meds that try to keep this all on this side of my wall and interesting enough to get things done. I have the added stress of being told I need to work towards a move out, with less funds than make that possible.
I want my mood stabilizer smoke. I don’t even want to think about heath issues at this stage. I miss Harvey’s, Swiss Chalet, Hooters, East Side Marios, Pizza Hut, and people to eat them with. Fajita parties and grocery delivery. Movies, street hot dogs and groceries online. Mostly I miss being able to afford any of it.
