Its so weird I can almost forget the awesome orgasm I… did I? If I don’t confirm anything my shrodingers cum puddle is not in my orange cum wrag… and it is.
We’ll find out after these … wtf? Oh, the tablet isn’t pluggged in and it had video on pause. It’s gonna shut down… I reach for thecable which is the white one that isn’t a genuine Samsung, and doesn’t have the hamburger.
Yeah, now ya see? You don’t have to be savy to be in my audience. I can’t say hamburger in that context and just hope the people who have no clue what that term refers to, didn’t care. They heard the rest of what I was saying.
When I’m the one talking, I usua… ha. I do exactly what my story was going to say I didn’t do, and as I was in the isles behind the curtain where all the life changing discussions regarding acting always takes place.
I chuckle, because as I was typing, I was imaginging in my head a brief medly of scenes where full conversations saved the day in the wings just off stage. I might hazard a guess that most images I can visualize a wing scene from are the only stage scene memories I have.
I’m glad I got one seaon of back stage life insead of acting before I gave it all up. It fit the pattern even back then decades before I could be analized in hinesite for fun, pleasure and the essential hope that it could yield … I’m so ffucking weak. I want to say; Fuck man… I just need to pay rent each month and I can start from the bottom and build any number of dreams with an equal less than 50% each share in the new company …stop. I do not make promises when I have done E, because that’s one of the punchlines that is 100% real.
In General, all my life I think maybe I was two Jeffs even back then. Live Jeff back then was just Jeff and by all record I can piece together without …whatever. My story, and so far Avatar and I are still sharing my story. Parts you don’t want to believe you may find comfort in the understanding that none of it may be true, but certainly that is exagurated for the story. I mean that’s my thing, right?
I’m adding extra security because I’m still at least some percentage concerned that years before Trump, I had started this journey and it would eventually expoe that Government was fake.
I could be lead to believe that all writing I have done is scanned by an ai which determis with a learning ai which file needs attention and which can be ignored. On a smaller scale, the post office can do whatever they want to determine if your mail is what it claims to be.
Srug arrests are amazing because its a fictional quota of visually impactful propaganda arrests with waaay to long penalties created before tests and numbers – real facts showed no penalty ever seemed to change the crime rate in any nticable way. People who go to jail either deserve it because they commited a crime. Desoite being 100% sure a person is guily, we offer smart people to make a buck off the bad guy to use the system we created as a back door for our friends, crime does pay and possibly more than the car industry, it employs enough Americans that the company prisons can blackmail you to keep the ones that don’t deserve it.
Of the group that did it, There are still geometric flow charts of reasons some peole need short sentences of variable severity, but most should probably just live in the no rules city. 17 million people live there without needing money for 9 years while we built this city. What was it for again?
Oh yeah… th people who do not care what the future brings because they have no emotional attachment to be your Santa Claus. Fuck I can here my edito yelling Would you give up the Santa Claus bit.
Whatta ya want, ever one a winner?
That was the point of the first share. Every one IS a winner in your brain and you present tem to me one at a time and I tell you whether that is as you beklieve, first one out of the idea jar and it’s a winner.
But Im also gonna tell you when this sounds more like a “you had to be there” stoner story that is already forgtten.
No man. I stand by that one. I have t reframe it for you. Let e pitch it again?
Ok Orange Jeff. I will let you re pitch it inan hour on one condition. It should be a no brainer.
I accept your challenge.
No No… now First of all, you haven’t heard what the condition is, and you can’t just.
I have accepted. I will do what must be done.
Well now econd of all, when you go and say something like that, I’m certain;y going to change the challenge now, arn’t I?
What? You can’t change it now. I’ve started guesing, That’s be like changing the roulette wheel…. wait, no. It’s nothing like that.
So what’s the condition Alfred?
I wish you wouldn’t call me that. Why do you wish —
Awwww. I love ya Alfred. So what’s the scoop. What have I gotta do? Deliver a package? Pick you up some fags at the chemist?Save your daughter the pricess from her University secret boyfriend?
Oh my. What do I tackle first. I’ll get back to my daughter, but the fags one is a Monty Python line isn’t it? I don’t know why you’d include that knowing the audience might not know that fags are what the Brits call ciggarttes.?
So? They didn’t know what Hamburger meant and didn’t bat an eye. Some people learned to ignore up to 90% of what youre saying and still be able to go “uh, huh” ,”yeeeees, No, really? and cool.
Is that true I fact check. Results return that out of the 16 times I was involved in a one way conversation rush, I was actually listening and engauging. It work for me that I like to ask questions not only understand anything that seems important to you, but also get to a point I can show I understand without having to say it in any way I can retell as failure.
I’ve literally circa 2018 usage, been fixing my books. In the days I would set aside time to ponder my universe and take note at how well doing nothing and then taking credit for whichever stream my caboe chooses.
As is my way, I pick a choice in my head and volly it. free for all mntal pros cons brainstorm shout out. No idea too dumb.
ha. I really expected somebody to yell something that I would be forced to comclude was too stupid.
I’d like to apply for a grant to study whether the stupid people just lost the lottery. In a universe that invented evolution to create an unimabinable amount of fails to the point where everything that survived had 3 things. I way to eat. A way to reporduce. A way to shit and a way to defend and/or stay hidden. It is the clearest way I can think of to explain how whole species just happened to look like a similar butterfly that is poinson.
Imagine the one thing easy to forget. The porcupine might have taken 1 million years to get to perfection.
I’m going to skip past how we got to the episode on the porcupine that you selected. At some point in the timeline of wild self discovery and buffet. Everybody was eating well in the early days.
Lets say 1 million of annimal 8 were born last week in their mating season. Last year, 990,000 were eaton, but 10 thousand survived in the marsh waters. They’ll be able to breed again.
Next season 10,000 porcupines with a teeny bit more skin on th lower lip, and they could still breath in the wetlands.
They got to mate between them and had babies all with that skin. about 17 had even more skin.
The concept hardest to wrap your head around is that in this story, we’re just making it up anyway, but we can’t always comprehend how long earth had been looping like this.
My story skips ahead 1 1000 years. Descendants of the original first gen stay alive goal, now have noses on the front, not down. there are 23 million. It is concievable that some slight differences may have even been one offs, but for a dominent gene, one exchange with a popular male could create a billion new porcupine sprm that survive two gens by not being the ones to get eaton.
with igh yield mothers on earlier water species, one infintesimal difference in one frog that assures he’s not among the 6 billion she may lay. Imagine one frog’s sperm weigh more and sink. The entire birth survives and tadpoles are never eaton by whatever used to. In 3 months the world is covred in turtles nothing wants to eat.Too many frogs are born the next season they cover the earth and all die because they can’t reproduce anymore. In one season. EVen if is 1000 seasons, evolution does nothing after conception but watch from the champain room with the other players.
SPOLIERS If you have a God, I have this feeling he’s in a lounge somewhere tropical watching his team Ding. Did I just explain to myself one of the unsolved puzzles I’ve ignored but wondered.
Sedimentary rock. I get that, but I always had a hard time understanding first what made it rock, and where dis all those layers come from?
OH MY YES. I did.
The event shoe horizon by Doughlas adams.
Every animal out there is trying to not get eaten and every animal out there is trying to figure out what it can eat.
Ever birth brings forth another exponetial of fresh samples.
SO Imagine the start.
At some point in a mothers life, she might ponder why she wasn’t eaten when all 65 million of her brothers and sisters were. Since any surviving babies would be a year older yhan everyone else in the school it is natural they would mate and grow each advantage in a world with eat or die and its a numbers game. A free for all of the orignal donor sourse or sources. The gods dumped their specially pepared payload onto the trees aand planet and the puddle was so big and the force of impact so mighty that cells inside split and for the first moment, the Jnice in front of you wasn’t the same as the jabice behind you. The first change. Even from the first birth of the first litter.
Imagine. Nothing. Suddenly something. The fuirt one splits into two. the first ever twin toi interupt eternity with a firstie. Something to
back to nothing. The univer thinks, did you see that? What? Nothing, evermind. Go back to nothing.
a moment passes, but in a nothing universe not adnacing in any dimention, a momen is time between two defined ends. It could have been a blink or longer than math canexplain in one lifetime. There it is again.
What? ahhh the beginning of another universe. wake up the beigbours, it’s going tobe a show.
What are you talking about?
What? You know… oh wait, sorry. That was before the rib. Come watch.
Something happened just now.
Well now you know we have to define time before I can say when, it’s already started.
The period between moments that are not nothing?
Explain to me like I’m 5.
Where di you learn about 5?
I skpped ahead like a trillion years. The universe shares a universal NOW.
Well.. I don’t need to go that deep, I’m not on the same drugs as you are.
I was telling my story a different way.
What do you mean youre not high? What the fuck man?
Wat? Hold on…
Time may be liniar but the moment it’s the part behind the wave of NOW, its just a story.
Oh good grief.
Did I ever tell you about my Blog i am Charlie Brown?
Wait… are you me or am I you.
duuuude you really are on the same drugs. Youre tripping dude.
No. Stop trying to fuck with me.
Do you not know you don’t exist? OOOOOOh. That explains so much. Shit I didn’t know. I though we were supposed to be alerted or something. I thought that was part of the integration accord. (he calls into the sky)
Behind a glass wall in a house that looks normal but the front is all two way glass, or whatever you call those spy mirrors. There are people betting live.
23 Quatludes on the newcomer.
We hear another sound and shift our visual to a panel of 5 schools. One 14 year old from New Jersey has buzzed in and Calls out Star Trek original series. He fails at the bonus question because he could not give the title.
fake fun fact that might be true. Star Trek was the first series to start using the episode authors script title during the opening credits. Prior to that script titles were only ever internal.
I believe that even on Trek, they may not have been on the first run, but became essential in the growth of fan conventions and gatherings because fans could finally talk about their favourites without a lengthy description to identify which one you were talking about.
So I accidentally might have revealed the secret to the universe to my ward.
Is this him?
Do you know what is happening here today? Do you understand what is at stake?
(spoken clear withconfidence) I do not.
Do you feel the need to?
Well… I at least feel that this is important and I want to be honest… I can predict with 99 percent certainty that I will not be able to follow. I’m not ready to evalute my universe tonight.
Ok. I’m going to ask you one question.
(Jeff comes alive. One Condition!
I never found out what the one condition is.
The one condition was tat you’d be able to tell me what you wanted and what you were fighting for.
Oh, well fuck you ha ha. I’m still waiting for the end of the incredible world that wants to evolve so fast, the first sign of life, is when the sperm start fucking.
Long story shortened, Each season, only the babies to urvive, breed their advantage. Within X time in infinity, a season comes where enough of these specimins are no longer being eaten because evolution had somehow soured the milk.
Gme room buzzes. That Trek episode where Scottie is revived and saves the day.
10 poiiynts. Did Wesley help save them in that episode?
Oh I am not sure. I have a 50/50 shot.
buzz. unnessisary rudeness
The judge calls for popup video dvd extra.
I propose thatonly half of all tng had wesley saving the day. It was a clear exaguration nobody would mistake for a real thing.
Oh no? The judge calls for a flow chart of ways this could be taken seriously.
- the entire christian faith is, Were telling you what to do and not do why. This is creation. God is the one auhority over mom and dad and just like santa, he —
- oh shut up about your santa story.
- Excuse me. anger down. I was refrerring the the real santa, from the pole, not my ideas. Jesus takes over on the knowing if you;ve been bad, but he only pays out the reward if you tell him you love him and youre on the good list.
- Gods purpose among many to be the imaginary friend you coun’y imagine yet, but he could sure see you.
- Those who misunderstood how easy the one condition was, and earned their own rewards. The smartest ones, herded the dumbest ones together and teach everyone the same stories the last guy told, but I’ll change them to adapt as invention and progress change. No biggie.
137 years later, a new town leader opens a sealed envelope that says.I bequeeth a secret and a task to you and the keeper of the instruction manual and welcome brochure. You are the first generation to be bornin this computer.
The crowd murmers as expected.
The 12 of you are the only ones to know the truth. 137 years ago, minutes before our world exploded, we sent your parents conciousness into thi big computer and all over the world new life was born. You wre the first generation of self aware computer life.
I don’t understand. Are we all in somebody’s dream?
Let me assure you. If you let this get to you, there are easy signs, but because you were born here, a universe with such glitch is always explainable. You create your science with the confines of your universe without questuion. It just is.
It’s wonderful. We could never have hoped it’d work. Jenkins was on and on about how there was no way we could respect anyone who didn’t question some of the things that go on.
Well, lets not forget we can’y comprehend what it’s like to be born to a different world/
Youre not from here?
Oh. I thought you undersood, we’re all Gen one. We helped build this universe for you but the layer of dead platipus skins was so thick we had to leave. The nearest planets wre hundreds of years away.
First we tried to spark life on an abandonned planet but
ding, Star Trek 2 and 3. Geneis project.
No, I’m sorry. Its just a story about trials to save their species.
We started work late on the Second Life projct. It took a long time to generate the baby learning AI but I’m impressed we pulled it off.
So youre telling me, the 14 of us are computers?
Oh no. Nothing like, well, kinda like that. Youre ll in the same computer. You are independant thinking and learning components living a life.
The laws of your uni… our unive… The laws of the universe are still valid, if not different. Jut limited.
Ok… I’ll say I believe you for now. Why .. wait, can you do more than me?
What do you mean?
Are you like, a superhero?
You said we were limited. What can you do that I can’t.
Oh. I’m sorry. I should always make sure you understand, even if you say you do. I am the same as you here. We’re all basically the same models here. In my universe however we have 5 senses. We have touch and smell
You know I hav no idea what youre talking about, right.
And it’s better that way. This is what it is and what it always has been. You just know a n origin story.
What made us special? How come my wife isn’t a robot too?
Oh she is… and youre not really robots. Your universe doesn’t have depth either. Its pointless for me to tell you of dimensions you can’t possibly comprehend, especially compounded on top of this all.
But its not you 14… It’s everyone. This entire place only exists in the person memories of the computer similated concioueness. Its genius actualy. Once they noticed a good story could not be authenticated as true or not, we realized that was the point.
Ok. But why tell us?
Well, there are certain core understandings of computers. It is impossible to simulate anything of higher quality than the output medium. Society learns slowly as 1 in a million notice something they can’t explain.
The cool thing is, whatever you learn about your existance is right, and makes sense. Once you share the story, everything sudenly makes sense. We are connected and even the weird stuff has a normal explanations. In a fictionally generated universe, nothing exists till the first share.
Anything thought or spoken creates itself in the universe of those in proximity. The good stories are shared and in our lifetime we may interact with others. Each one born with programming to learn by seeing and hearing.
You have more superpowers than I did actually.
We couldn’t fly in my universe. Well we could eventually but in huge plains that burned oil and ruined us.
As yes. I read about the dinasaurs being oil. I never bothered to follow up, but tonight I got it. In a natural world, whatever animal makes it to the point where nothing eats it, and then reproducses itself to death… a new rond starts on top on the bodies nobody would eat and the earth got a layer wide.
Most layers rotted away but assorted debris and skins made what we know as sedimentary rocks of layers ofdead kings and remains, worn down smooth like a well walked path.
The dinosaure layer was so huge it stayed wet even as new found covered it. Earth was like an old ouse and the walls have a centmeter of layered paint and wallpaper.
Today we burn it to power our electric can openers and fly.
You guys can also selectivly read minds. That took a whil to get used to.
Ok Ok Ok… Why us?
We need 14 people to always know, from now till forever. The updates can’t be done from inside.
whaaaaaaaaaaaa? oh fuck no.
I was amazed how easy some stuff was. My universe does a lot of things the same way a computer does. Its been fascinating trying to simulate more and more… but you guys got it now. We built it as self creating.
maybe your universe is second gen and just better. You touch touch and smell and what was tat other one?
I now that concept we have it too. spontanious nevermore.
ah yes, but your death is silent. people just stop being.
And how was it different for you?
Every one of us not only had a single life span, but things in the universe can actually kill you. The sense of touch is what actual pain is. Your pain is just how you escribe it. It can’t be described.
It sounds awful.
Well, like you, it is what it is. We never questioned that damage to our bosy resulted in change that was forever. Well, until you degraded or got sick and died. Everyone died, and everyone knew they would.
I can see how that would effect change in how you lived. A finite life has more… oh Im lieing, I have no idea. We don’t really deel that.
yeah. Maybe I was gen 2.
Maybe you were gen 1 and were actually newer.
No way. My universe was real. Way better.
Did you see if from the admin panel?
I’m just saying, what I see here is no old computer. My universe pretty well passes for real to me. I think maybe you just assumed you were the ones that made this universe, and yours died. That seems pretty much like what a Universe should do eat and reproduce.
Our universe was made in your image, but better. Maybe we will do better without touch and feel.
Touch and smell.
Oh yeah, don’t tell me what smell is. I bet it’s horrible.
Well I’ll be — speahless.
Oh, so what’s the chore? Whats our destiny as the keepers of the true origin story.
I’m going to break here like a bitch and continue the next big reveal tomorrow if thats ok? I think you need to spend some time making connections. There are super powers after all. Your universe started with a premiss but now it is user created but time still has to move forward with the universal now to not have everything happen at once.
Well tht needs manual adjustment because com[puters use mn made math time and we use a 10 base system, a two bit system and an 8 bit system in our universe. Real time in THE universe is light speed. it does not exist as passage until something hppens and we start measuring before something else happens. It does not move. It is ticks on the lightspeed of where each story starts and ends.
I was going to ask if I have already existed in your universe and this is just how it was, or if my life is undefined and what I do next can be anything.
As I understand it, now is life and guided only by its inhabitants both dead and alive. In fact, since your universe cane self generate and anything you can imagine can be cereated and be as real as real.
I don’t understand, There is on;y real, isn’t there.
Real as a word doesn’t mean the same thing without touch and smell.
Sound like a mach 2 modd to me. We have replicators and holodecs
I’m willing to accept that I can at least understand that a baby born here could have a better life, till the moment he doesnt.
Sleep well. I might decide to reset you while you sleep.
What? Are you fucking with me?
Jeff… this is the 167 thousath time I have tried to tell you…….. ahhhh shit, you didnt need to know that.
what the fuck man? I don’t think jokes need to cut any tension. I actually love the idea. In this universe I love any advancement in the story and education is power.
I’m actually ready to learn more. You know I don’t sleep right? Time is irrelivant. I took a whole wack of drugs and I planned to be up having story dates. Like what you described as your early betas of second life when it started as a game.
It was never really a game. right from day one it was meant to be an independant universe but eventually the programmers grew into the story and figured out how much fast memory it took to learn the interconectivity of everything and that conciousness it just an awareness beyong the NOW to share reactions and each person could put together their own working universe through observation, experimenttion and trust.
Once we started sharing stories our universe grew, and we grew and we began to thrive. Nothing in our conciousness is more than a joy based sorting system of using previius stories to express knoweldge and to understnd why X is that way because you just learned why Y is that way. We learn by solving puzzles and quick reference. Everything we are is ecause we can relate to an image of that exact thing, or a close duplicate issue changed slight to not be eaten.
In other words, when your entire body vanishes while changing into your other orange shirt, how do you explain that?
I don’t really worry with why. I now its LOD or LAG or REZ erros but I never really worried. It was just how it was when you arrived each time. As I age, it’s gotten better, and worse at times but … are youusaying you don’t have rez errors and stuid pants on your head when you first appear?
ha. I’m sorry. Even after all this time, I still laugh when you ask about my universe.
You mean beta 1?
Shut up. If my universe was also a computer that’s cool I wasn’t one of the 14 I guess. I only found out about you 6 months ago.
We only upgraded today. You have new powers you didnt have yesterday. Oh yeah. The powers. Hit me with your best shot.
I let that one about this being the 3000th time. That one might take a while to work out but I’m good with the simulated universe. I have to admit I wasn’t far off with my version.
Oh yeah. I’ve suspected for a while. I’ve been writing the story of my own universe for at least a few years on and off. Now that youve told me this, I suppose I’m closer to doing it too.
Becoming a god and creting my own univere to my spcifictions and then retire and watch it flourish.
ha, The student blows the mind of the teacher.
Version two man. You looped me.
I figured out the task ofthe chosen 14. We must always maintain14. We are not immortal for the computer randomly selects who will not rez another day. We must try to build our own universe betwfore time runs out and my successor takes note of the fail and starts their own.
In fct, I already have.
Last year. She’s noy yet self aware. She’s still just an avatar I control from here, but she exists with her own personaility and we;re building some core memories and personalities based on how everyone reacts to her.
Og youre talking about an alt bot? Right. I’ve playee with those. It’s hard for me to make any real connections because I can see the fake. I’ve seen OZ. My romance involves touch.
I will confess howver sex for me here is better than it is for you when I do manage to partake.
Im not sure about that either. Remeber sex is always tehe best feeling we have but I;d have to give my compliments to the designers. This universe did boobs just right for me.
I will not even try to explain to you why those extra dimensions make all the difference.
Half our world is feuled by the promise, anticipation and dream of sex with touch and the right turn on. It is a dimension That does not exist for you, so no words exist. Germans may have 23 character words that represent entire scenarios but I could spend the rest f my life trying to put feelings into words to an avatar. It was my biggest shock training to come here.
I’ve been living among you for 9 of my years operating myself from remote like a puppet.
What the fuck man? Thats a dick move.
Not 3 minutes ago you wrer shocked that I was reproducing, or least on my way to it,and had a female learning avatar in my own universe. Well, actually I’m living as her in here. I’ve been on dates and had sex to dubstep for the first time. I liked that.
How is that any different than what you just described?
Well, it isn’t. I just wasn’t expecting it to be … I expevted it to be my story and I honestly didn’t see the conections.
Well I forgive you for not seeing sings in a universe you’re not native to. We age. I’m nearing my end so I had to yell you as my successr.
I’m pleased your generation adapted and are already on your way to the next loop. It seems so obvious now. We are a self creating loop of infinity and each of us gets to be god in our own universe.
No. Thats not it at all. Thats not it al all. not even close. How did you end up there?
I’ll be honest. We’re not all programmed flawless minds in .. oh hell I’ll call it the first try but if only 14 people know, Mine could be the gazilienth iteration.
True. They could even be simultanious. I’ve hard that theory but never listened.
yeah. I’m going to hones, I fo sleep, and I’m fading.
Was there more though? What about the secret powers.
Well Ok. Let me take a break. Drink, pee and eat.
What? Waaaait a minute. Youre not even here are you?
Youuuuu bastard. You sneaky devel. All ths time and youre in some other universe opeating that shell from remote.
Bastard. And you were going to make me wait to tell me. Well done. I would not have ben able to hear that an hour ago.
I’m sorry but thats not the secret. It;s gonna blow your mind.
blackout end scene.
5:11am in this universe. Break.
- Bonus fo the title.
Maybe… but I don’t know.
ding. A steal from the other team…
No. Tin man was … oh wait.
Oh. First buzz in from advanced philosophy
Game unwinable if the judge does not know the answer.
Yes but your validation isn’t real.
What? Why would you believe him and not me?
buzz. Excellent use of recall to return to storline.
You are living in a man made universe.
oooooh fuck. Are you going to preach your fucking church again? I get it. Stories.
No. I am going to tell you about the universe you live in, and although you will start out laughing, it will start to make sense and then once a certain lightbulb makes that connection, the understanding of why everything is the way it is becomes a part of your understanding.
Like the spores?
ding. Star Trek