Orange Shirt Blogs

Warning: Heavy Drug use

Welcome to the Orange Shirt Blogs. A personal space that I don’t share with everyone. It includes honest blogging about my struggles with mental health, drug use, sexuality and life in general.

The Drug BlogsThe Drug Videos

This page has been configured to filter out the drug related posts. The following blogs are relatively free of drug use or content although they may acknowledge that I am a user.

Sunday 3am Top Up

It's been several years since I've smoked a 3am bong hit between naps. I made memes of a few, which is why I remember them. I remember that point in the night when you have done it, even before any mental debate. There is never a question of not smoking more. Any time...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

A new twist on my continuing idea.

A lot of my ideas for businesses come from previous ideas expanded. There are things that I want to do but. because I'm me haven't been able to do and so I keep coming back to them with different versions until maybe one day I can. complete one.. My current project at...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Emotions are confusing

It's September 10th already. A lot has happened around me and including me and I have not been handling it very well. I wasn't even blogging about it. I just got high and tried to avoid consequences. I'm not happy in a different way than I was before. More guilt here...

Life loops. Chores

Life loops. Chores

I have always seen life as a series of loops. Things that happen over and over that old people see more clearly than young people. The way of the world in a constant repetition starting with day after day, week after week, year after year but also the loops of society...

Has it only been one day?

Has it only been one day?

It seems so long since I've blogged but apparently, it was yesterday. I did nothing today. My only accomplishment besides getting the mail and eating was the brilliant idea to check the internet about my problem with the broken tv. I got it working around 5pm so my...

Club.frogstar.com

I want to share with you a dream project I have been developing. It is an online private social club for drug fans to hang out and mingle. Unlike many social media sites, we won't block you for drug content. I own a hosting company and I'm a web developer so the sky...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Fuck god didn’t let me say it.

The most significant fucking dream of my life And I woke up to pee at the best part. I probably can't explain it in the detail of needs now. Fuck. I was doing a court ordered monologue on stage for my admission to the good place, and I made it, but they didn't let me...

Scary Mafia Dream

Last night I had a scary dream. I had gotten myself into trouble by becoming involved with a mafia drug dealer that freely killed people in front of me. I was following the rules and instructions as I do, but I wasn't being treated fairly. Other employees were being...

CTRL-ALT-DELETE Life Reboot.

I saw an old video clip featuring Adam Sandler sketch from Saturday Night Live this week. It was a travel commercial parody about Italy. It's main focus was the single premise; Of you're not happy at home, you won't be happy here....

Scripted Dreams

Scripted Dreams

I almost always dream in a universe seperate from my reality. It has differences from my awake world but it's pretty consistent within itself. Then there my scripted dreams. I'm not always in them.Dreams that are presented more formally as either existing movies or TV...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Using up my un-used burden points

Fuck it. Throw it all away. This time I mean it. I sense a pattern. I don't like the whole act of moving, so I always end up just staring into space for the final week, not able to compartmentalize tasks, and then I just walk away with things undone, leaving a massive...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

A new first…

As I draw closer to the end of this chapter of my life, I didn't expect to get into many new fighting matches. I didn't see today's manic outburst coming, but of course, in hindsight, I should not have been surprised that my comments ignited such rage. A conversation...

The Wednesday Overwhelming

The Wednesday Overwhelming

I didn't get much done today, and I really needed to. its Wednesday and I had tentatively planned to visit Toronto one last time before moving thousands of kilometres away to the next chapter in my life story. I decided to make this chapter a fresh break in a new...

Friday Night Lockout

Friday Night Lockout

I'm not sure whether things like this are intentional or not, and I'm not sure how to react or what to do because I like to not be a bother and rock the boat. This is especially true right now because he's decided to be angry with me this month. Little things will...

8:23pm came with a side of sadness.

8:23pm came with a side of sadness.

I've been doing ok with life. I know I'm doing poorly and only getting a few tasks done per day. By around 3pm I nap or just stare at the ceiling. Later in the afternoon, I start TV and get a few shows in before sleep. More accurately, before I lay still awaiting...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Motivation stall

It's Wednesday morning at 8:45 a.m. and already I haven't done anything. Starting on Sunday I was quite motivated to be productive and then Monday and Tuesday I followed up with slightly lessened productivity but still 3 days that I consider somewhat progressive...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Mid May update

There are moments in my life when I'm not sad. Not many these days, but some. Today had a few of those moments in between the depression. I paid down the electricity bill by begging for help. A $900 payment stayed off the disconnect, but not for long. Despite paying...

Thoughts of self harm

That's what the doctors always ask you. Have you had any thoughts of self-harm or similar wording. The one time I hinted that I didn't care if I lived, I got a psychiatrist assigned to me and at the beginning or end of every appointment he has the same thing. I'd...

It is a hell I have accepted and adapted to but something really should change because enjoying life is hard from here.

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Bad Mood Made Worse

It's Wednesday and a particularly down mood has struck me, mostly due to the fact that I've done a lot of bad mood drugs since Thursday of last week. Molly and cocaine both may be pleasurable during the hours of activity, but the following days are usually pretty...

3.46am. may the forth be with you.

I'm eating the last soft chocolate chip cookie. It's hard to fall asleep at 3am after an epic afternoon and evening on classic ecstasy and lots of weed. Lots. Only two more bites of cookie before lights out, trial 2. Just to make sure it's not successful, I just took...

The Lollypop effect

Some point form. I am not certain if I'm high on a strong edible weed or shroom. It was quite a wave of dumb for a while and I'm sad I didn't start this post till now. My mind came up with a whole campaign about politics. Oh yeah... If you're working for less than it...

I’m wounded and sore

I got beaten up earlier this evening. Knocked down into a pile of shit. My knee hurts and I was bleeding on my shin and ass. I'm still sore and have not slept because I'm sore in my usual sleep positions. I would say; you should see the other guy but I hardly got a...

I’m on Russian TV, 24/7 without knowing

A thought occured to me 2 hours into an edible I knew I should have saved. It would have been killer before I'm already high. I enjoy the edible come up and high. Storytime. Inyeruption. Second life version of the Canadian speakers corner if licencable or usable like...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

I think I broke my eye

I have to go see a doctor about my eye. This is bad because I have four other things I should get checked too. I could find out I'm really sick, and so I don't go see a doctor, but the eye thing could be serious, and the sore breath could be a thing, and the poor...

The Lollypop effect

Some point form. I am not certain if I'm high on a strong edible weed or shroom. It was quite a wave of dumb for a while and I'm sad I didn't start this post till now. My mind came up with a whole campaign about politics. Oh yeah... If you're working for less than it...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

It was April Fools day

I didn't even go online. I don't like looking foolish . I like trust and April fools day is probably only a year or two from being bannedIn Canada, it's another one of our monthly long weekend, so our April fools is always the first Monday , not the first.We also...

Masking Depression

It's weird to be depressed on depression medication. It's hard to define medicated contentment. I don't cry all day, but I'm not productive. My truth is, I'm masking some of my worst depression by sleeping till 2pm or 5pm like I did today. I have very little actual...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Saturday the 18th Already

I should use the date as a blog title and go on about how fast time moves when you don't create any milestone memories, but I did and I will. I didn't blog about Pi day or St Patrick's Day. I didn't blog about my Daniel Day or the TV shows on this month. I didn't blog...

1am Again.

I can't tell if my insomnia today is real or in my mind. I'm not sure that it matters all that much, because either way, I'm still awake at 1:00 a.m. and I anticipate it's made last the whole night. Early this morning I blogged about how small a quantity of meth smoke...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Sadness means less blogging

My time away from the high has resulted in hours of sleep and a bit of reflection and pondering thrown in. We had two days of Spring before winter returned this week. A normal February. It gets light earlier but is still not bright past about 6pm. I've picked up a...

My ADHD post

I'm not saying this post has anything to do with ADHD, except for the fact that I have ADHD and I know for a fact that I will not get to the end of the blog post I intended without interruptions and distractions. I must now confess that I have completely forgotten...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Weekend Update. Monty Hall kept me up

I was awake all night again. I boofed the very last of my bong water in a single syringe that gave me an all day boost from noon till now. Part of my evening was obsessing over the Monty Hall math problem. Although tired, I worked on that task from 1am till 3am...

Super Pig. Super Powers

Super Pig. Super Powers

They say that pigs are supposed to be one of the most intelligent animals in the animal kingdom. I haven't seen an example of that with my pig. Oops I mean the pig that I take care of during the week, but to be fair there's not a lot of intelligence that's needed to...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

My fictional 60th

I wish I could remember all the stories in my dreams last night in as much detail as they contained. I remember three distinct stories but the details are already fading as I write this post. The latest, and perhaps the funniest storyline was when two agents knocked...

A new twist on my continuing idea.

Rough wake up. Great sleep.

DREAMS ARE BACK! I didn't really notice I hadn't been dreaming and remembering them until they were back I had rich vivid dreams last night. Full plot and dialogue dreams. My alarm woke me at 7am from a detailed game of snooker that cost $20 an hour with lots of...