This page has been configured to filter out the drug related posts. The following blogs are relatively free of drug use or content although they may acknowledge that I am a user.
Sunday 3am Top Up
It's been several years since I've smoked a 3am bong hit between naps. I made memes of a few, which is why I remember them. I remember that point in the night when you have done it, even before any mental debate. There is never a question of not smoking more. Any time...
A new twist on my continuing idea.
A lot of my ideas for businesses come from previous ideas expanded. There are things that I want to do but. because I'm me haven't been able to do and so I keep coming back to them with different versions until maybe one day I can. complete one.. My current project at...
Emotions are confusing
It's September 10th already. A lot has happened around me and including me and I have not been handling it very well. I wasn't even blogging about it. I just got high and tried to avoid consequences. I'm not happy in a different way than I was before. More guilt here...
Sadness Looms
It's not a good Monday. Withdrawal, hydration, no sweets to eat. TV seems boring.
Life loops. Chores
I have always seen life as a series of loops. Things that happen over and over that old people see more clearly than young people. The way of the world in a constant repetition starting with day after day, week after week, year after year but also the loops of society...
My thoughts are arguing
Don't be fooled by silent calmness.
Has it only been one day?
It seems so long since I've blogged but apparently, it was yesterday. I did nothing today. My only accomplishment besides getting the mail and eating was the brilliant idea to check the internet about my problem with the broken tv. I got it working around 5pm so my...
Blah blah blah Tuesday
I don't really feel like doing anything today. Even this blog was a chore. I almost just typed blah and saved it at that. Today is one of those days where I take mental stock of my situation and blah is the best I can come up with. It's better in most ways than it was...
Club.frogstar.com
I want to share with you a dream project I have been developing. It is an online private social club for drug fans to hang out and mingle. Unlike many social media sites, we won't block you for drug content. I own a hosting company and I'm a web developer so the sky...
It’s hard doing nothing among the busy
When I lived in Niagara Falls, it was common to sleep a day. To wake up, look around, and then go back to sleep and repeat until it was the next day. I didn't do it all the time but I certainly did it more than occasionally. Even on the days when I was awake, I didn't...
I am an Orange
I found the perfect shared meme.
Fuck god didn’t let me say it.
The most significant fucking dream of my life And I woke up to pee at the best part. I probably can't explain it in the detail of needs now. Fuck. I was doing a court ordered monologue on stage for my admission to the good place, and I made it, but they didn't let me...
Scary Mafia Dream
Last night I had a scary dream. I had gotten myself into trouble by becoming involved with a mafia drug dealer that freely killed people in front of me. I was following the rules and instructions as I do, but I wasn't being treated fairly. Other employees were being...
How AI is Revolutionizing Content Creation: A Deep Dive into Jetpack AI Assistant
Well, well, well... Look who's trying to make their content fun! Don't worry, I'm here to spice things up for you. So, let's take this party to the next level and talk about how Jetpack AI Assistant is changing the content creation game! It's like having your own...
CTRL-ALT-DELETE Life Reboot.
I saw an old video clip featuring Adam Sandler sketch from Saturday Night Live this week. It was a travel commercial parody about Italy. It's main focus was the single premise; Of you're not happy at home, you won't be happy here....
My theory of the universe. Part x
a concept that struck me today with no warning. we cant travel at light speed. it may take centuries to happen, bit we would die instantly like a flashlight beam hitting a wall.
Travel photography…snapshots of that moment you’ll never look at again
After my recent throw everything I own in the garbage moment, I find myself evaluating what to keep moving forward.I tossed my personal art photo album.that was a momentarily emotional loss. All my artistic photography from the days when the cameras used film and you...
Scripted Dreams
I almost always dream in a universe seperate from my reality. It has differences from my awake world but it's pretty consistent within itself. Then there my scripted dreams. I'm not always in them.Dreams that are presented more formally as either existing movies or TV...
Finding Smiles
It's not always easy, and you need to train yourself, but with practice it is possible to find humour in so many things in life that other people might not.I am 30,000 feet up in the air today. I'm above the clouds, and probably won't undo my seatbelt and try to move...
Trying hard to not feel bad
As one chapter ends, a new life begins. Living out of a knapsack at age 60
Using up my un-used burden points
Fuck it. Throw it all away. This time I mean it. I sense a pattern. I don't like the whole act of moving, so I always end up just staring into space for the final week, not able to compartmentalize tasks, and then I just walk away with things undone, leaving a massive...
To be continued
It's 5:17am and I'm up smelling that horrible coffee smell, possibly for the last time. The final full day in Ontario, quite possibly forever. There were a few last-minute offers to stay but they were really more idealistic procrastination stalls. I forced the play...
A new first…
As I draw closer to the end of this chapter of my life, I didn't expect to get into many new fighting matches. I didn't see today's manic outburst coming, but of course, in hindsight, I should not have been surprised that my comments ignited such rage. A conversation...
Evil Idiocy
A commentary on how stupid spam can be at times.
The Wednesday Overwhelming
I didn't get much done today, and I really needed to. its Wednesday and I had tentatively planned to visit Toronto one last time before moving thousands of kilometres away to the next chapter in my life story. I decided to make this chapter a fresh break in a new...
Friday Night Lockout
I'm not sure whether things like this are intentional or not, and I'm not sure how to react or what to do because I like to not be a bother and rock the boat. This is especially true right now because he's decided to be angry with me this month. Little things will...
8:23pm came with a side of sadness.
I've been doing ok with life. I know I'm doing poorly and only getting a few tasks done per day. By around 3pm I nap or just stare at the ceiling. Later in the afternoon, I start TV and get a few shows in before sleep. More accurately, before I lay still awaiting...
Funny thing happened on the way to the bin
Just as I’m preparing to move, life laughs at me
Things I do wrong, part 47
Last Saturday and Sunday I helped Willie with some landscaping. Apparently this signified the beginning of a life change for me where I was supposed to spend several hours every day for the rest of my stay here helping him with his busy work. I don't mean that as an...
Motivation stall
It's Wednesday morning at 8:45 a.m. and already I haven't done anything. Starting on Sunday I was quite motivated to be productive and then Monday and Tuesday I followed up with slightly lessened productivity but still 3 days that I consider somewhat progressive...
Mid May update
There are moments in my life when I'm not sad. Not many these days, but some. Today had a few of those moments in between the depression. I paid down the electricity bill by begging for help. A $900 payment stayed off the disconnect, but not for long. Despite paying...
Don’t stall till Friday… Don’t stall till Friday
I have to chant this over and over. Don't stall till Friday. Today, at 8:31 a.m., I called the power company and pleaded with them to give me an extra week. Today was the last day before we got our disconnect notice and I still don't have any idea how I'll come up...
I’ll do it right after a quick nap
My social media feeds these days are all filled with people talking about their ADHD symptoms. It's trending to be autistic apparently which makes it all the more difficult for people who have known about this for years. Now when I complain about ADHD symptoms, people...
I took out the garbage – in a dream
I forgot to wake up before I remembered to take out the garbage to the curb this morning.
Oops. 4pm was too late.
I procrastinate for all kinds of reasons. Different diagnoses come up with different reasons or justifications. ADHD explains it away and avoidance disorder explains it away. Sometimes it's just my overall fear of letting people down and being yelled at. Today I...
I have some emotions. Sadness Mostly.
I don't think about depression the same way anymore. I think about life more with sadness and frustration than I think about depression but I think it's all the same. I can't imagine what I'd be like if I wasn't taking my paxil daily. It allows me to be happy in the...
Thoughts of self harm
That's what the doctors always ask you. Have you had any thoughts of self-harm or similar wording. The one time I hinted that I didn't care if I lived, I got a psychiatrist assigned to me and at the beginning or end of every appointment he has the same thing. I'd...
Read moreIt is a hell I have accepted and adapted to but something really should change because enjoying life is hard from here.
Bad Mood Made Worse
It's Wednesday and a particularly down mood has struck me, mostly due to the fact that I've done a lot of bad mood drugs since Thursday of last week. Molly and cocaine both may be pleasurable during the hours of activity, but the following days are usually pretty...
Second Life 2023 return
I spent a lot of time in second life this weekend because I had Molly and since I don't have access to a real human to touch and cuddle, I settle for the artificial alternate universe that has voice but no touch or smell. Doesn't take too much to extend your beliefs...
A lot of forgetting this weekend.
I decided it was time to blog about my wild weekend since they don't happen very often. The landlord had invited his son over and we sat in the kitchen the three of us and got super high on weed and lines of coke. Lots of lines of coke.. I didn't sleep Friday but I...
3.46am. may the forth be with you.
I'm eating the last soft chocolate chip cookie. It's hard to fall asleep at 3am after an epic afternoon and evening on classic ecstasy and lots of weed. Lots. Only two more bites of cookie before lights out, trial 2. Just to make sure it's not successful, I just took...
Waves of Sadness between naps
I don't blog much anymore. I don't do much. Even when life events happen of any significance, like a gigantic bruise on my leg that is ever expanding after the pig attacked me earlier this week. I'm sleeping poorly most nights because my body has developed a new...
It’s your fault. (thinking chat game)
When I was in elemetary school, a friend and I invented a thinking game to play every day on the hour long bus ride to school. It is called; "It's your fault" and I still play it today when chat people send me a message starting with "it's your fault". Tonight, I...
The Lollypop effect
Some point form. I am not certain if I'm high on a strong edible weed or shroom. It was quite a wave of dumb for a while and I'm sad I didn't start this post till now. My mind came up with a whole campaign about politics. Oh yeah... If you're working for less than it...
I’m wounded and sore
I got beaten up earlier this evening. Knocked down into a pile of shit. My knee hurts and I was bleeding on my shin and ass. I'm still sore and have not slept because I'm sore in my usual sleep positions. I would say; you should see the other guy but I hardly got a...
I’m on Russian TV, 24/7 without knowing
A thought occured to me 2 hours into an edible I knew I should have saved. It would have been killer before I'm already high. I enjoy the edible come up and high. Storytime. Inyeruption. Second life version of the Canadian speakers corner if licencable or usable like...
I think I broke my eye
I have to go see a doctor about my eye. This is bad because I have four other things I should get checked too. I could find out I'm really sick, and so I don't go see a doctor, but the eye thing could be serious, and the sore breath could be a thing, and the poor...
The Lollypop effect
Some point form. I am not certain if I'm high on a strong edible weed or shroom. It was quite a wave of dumb for a while and I'm sad I didn't start this post till now. My mind came up with a whole campaign about politics. Oh yeah... If you're working for less than it...
If I could…
I'd invest in Linden labs
It was April Fools day
I didn't even go online. I don't like looking foolish . I like trust and April fools day is probably only a year or two from being bannedIn Canada, it's another one of our monthly long weekend, so our April fools is always the first Monday , not the first.We also...
Why Orange
I asked Chat GPT to create a slide show about why Orange is the best colour. Thats all I said and it created this.
Another Microsoft voice recognition test
I haven't been very happy with Microsoft voice recognition in the past but recently I noticed that there is a microphone on the Windows 10 software keyboard function. When I click it, I can type sentences like this using my voice instead of the keyboard. It's...
The Trust Issue
I have known two friends in my life that don’t love themselves. They have not been overly successful in finding partners because of this. This little story came to me after a dream and I am debating whether to share it with them or not.
Masking Depression
It's weird to be depressed on depression medication. It's hard to define medicated contentment. I don't cry all day, but I'm not productive. My truth is, I'm masking some of my worst depression by sleeping till 2pm or 5pm like I did today. I have very little actual...
Saturday the 18th Already
I should use the date as a blog title and go on about how fast time moves when you don't create any milestone memories, but I did and I will. I didn't blog about Pi day or St Patrick's Day. I didn't blog about my Daniel Day or the TV shows on this month. I didn't blog...
1am Again.
I can't tell if my insomnia today is real or in my mind. I'm not sure that it matters all that much, because either way, I'm still awake at 1:00 a.m. and I anticipate it's made last the whole night. Early this morning I blogged about how small a quantity of meth smoke...
I’m Chicken
I wish I had the nerve and the talent to properly express myself on websites and figure out how to meet people and mingle. I am a 59-year-old male with excellent communication skills. I'm a nice guy but I am asexual and have never really experienced passion or...
Today was a good day
Today was a good day. I didn't sleep during the day and I got a lot of stuff done including some backlog work with a customer I actually avoided for over 2 weeks. I made up and he didn't seem too upset. It's not really a lie to say it was a health reason I was...
Sadness means less blogging
My time away from the high has resulted in hours of sleep and a bit of reflection and pondering thrown in. We had two days of Spring before winter returned this week. A normal February. It gets light earlier but is still not bright past about 6pm. I've picked up a...
My ADHD post
I'm not saying this post has anything to do with ADHD, except for the fact that I have ADHD and I know for a fact that I will not get to the end of the blog post I intended without interruptions and distractions. I must now confess that I have completely forgotten...
Less blogging as expected
It's not that my life is more exciting when I'm using drugs, it's that I sleep more when I'm not. My life has about the same level of excitement either way but when I am sleeping, I'm less likely to blog. Ironically, I've had some pretty amazing dreams the past week...
Weekend Update. Monty Hall kept me up
I was awake all night again. I boofed the very last of my bong water in a single syringe that gave me an all day boost from noon till now. Part of my evening was obsessing over the Monty Hall math problem. Although tired, I worked on that task from 1am till 3am...
Beautiful Ontario Spring Afternoon
I don't know what the temperature is, but I'm happy to sit outside in my backyard chair and watch the dogs jump around and play with each other in the sunlight just before the evening starts. It's early February and more often than not this week would still be snow...
My sneaky tricks have failed me
Galley of playing around on my phone in the dark during the night hours
I skipped a day
Pretty much a normal Monday taking care of the dogs and feeding the chickens and feeding the pig and blogging about how dull that routine is.
Super Pig. Super Powers
They say that pigs are supposed to be one of the most intelligent animals in the animal kingdom. I haven't seen an example of that with my pig. Oops I mean the pig that I take care of during the week, but to be fair there's not a lot of intelligence that's needed to...
Brand Awareness
Not sponsored... Yet
That moment between tasks.
Feeding the pig and then trying to fit it under a blanket without upsetting it.
My fictional 60th
I wish I could remember all the stories in my dreams last night in as much detail as they contained. I remember three distinct stories but the details are already fading as I write this post. The latest, and perhaps the funniest storyline was when two agents knocked...
Rough wake up. Great sleep.
DREAMS ARE BACK! I didn't really notice I hadn't been dreaming and remembering them until they were back I had rich vivid dreams last night. Full plot and dialogue dreams. My alarm woke me at 7am from a detailed game of snooker that cost $20 an hour with lots of...