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A previously secret collection of over a decade of journals and blogs from the mind of Orange Jeff telling the honest stories of my mental illness, brain...

Sleep issues solved? I am an idiot

I'm not really sure that my sleep issues are resolved. It does however appear that I may have found at least part of the problem. I still have constipation issues, and I'm still peeing more than I...

SmackDown Day

Today's Rooster adventures were a little different. Due to some sleep issues I'm working out, I slept in and didn't get downstairs till 745 instead of my usual 720/730ish I used to start even...

Best laid plans vs Chicken logic

When I can out the door for the afternoon feed, the weak chickens that linger in different circles are always first to detect me, and the waddle towards me. Over the past couple of days I've tried...

Mojo and Me

I learned the name of the rooster's mojo but I prefer calling it the rooster anyway because calling it by its name implies some form of relationship. I suppose in a way we do have an adversarial...

False Positive. It’s an Apple Fritter

Glazed donuts often have a timeline of freshness that begins right away. Tonight I was offered three McDonald mini donuts. One was a springle. These are yeast donuts and ideally should be consumed...

Skip skip the dishes

I don't like to complain. Having said that, I don't like having a reason to complain because I don't like to complain and having a good reason puts me in a spot. Today I ordered the only hamburger...

I did the thing. It was anti-climatic

After staring at the emergency mental health hotline for several weeks I paused a movie and made the call. It's not a helpful number but they did give me another number so now I start the loop...

Why do I make plans?

Perhaps plans is the wrong idea. I set mini goals for each day. Some of them are extremely simple like don't forget to feed the fish. This morning I forgot to feed the fish. Some of them of course...

1 Point Rooster.

I'd fed them. I was posing no threat.i was almost inside the house but I showed my back to the Rooster and somehow it magically transported 40 feet and lunged. It was so fast and startling I...

The magical door.

Apparently I neglected to barricade the front door after I checked for the mail. It's probably about the 3rd or 4th time I've done this in 2 years but unfortunately it is a hotspot paranoid worry...

I kind of think I was always this way but I can't be sure because of the way my memory works. I make stupid mistakes, I knock things over, and I don't foresee the consequences of things I do before...

Differences from yesterday’s Blog

It's become clear that there is very little that is interesting about my tasks. Blogging everyday about feeding the chickens, avoiding the rooster, feeding the chickens again and letting the dogs...

The new dilemma. Shit now or

As soon as I did it I knew I made the wrong decision and now I'm not sure what to do next. I've been having constipation issues and there are three main types of laxatives. I've gone through a...

I amaze myself sometimes.

I'm honestly having a hard time understanding how to today is only day three. I'm pretty sure I wrote about yesterday being day three the entire day. Thinking back I guess I can only come up with...

Day two. It doesn’t get easier..

Doing pretty much the same thing every day doesn't necessarily get easier. For someone with attention deficit disorder it can actually get more difficult because each day it becomes less interesting...

The cat and the cock

Rough start to the day. My first official work day where I am in charge of the animals morning afternoon and evening and potentially already lost a cat. It's freaking me out. I did everything fine...

Same accident. Different door

So as of 8:14 a.m. on Tuesday August 2nd I am possibly missing a cat, or not one may have escaped outside which is really bad for at least one or two of the cats and reasonably bad for the third. If...

The Monday before I have to pay attention again.

I'm feeling more stressed than I need to be,but that doesn't really help. Then again, my stress has always been pretty mild. Since I go with the flow about everything, worrying about the future is a...

The magical proximity sensor

I can't even try to get away with simple things. First look, he'd way back at the end of the property. I try my thing and he's right there, telling me why I shouldn't or can't. It's uncanny

The new black

I had a bath today and I'm going out in a little while but my room and my bedding and other things there still smell so I wanted to put on fresh clothes I don't really have. But I do have a prison...

I should be asleep but I need to be awake.

Thank you meth.

Late life revelations

I never actually notice how little I do in life, effort-wise. I have used my intelligence to evaluate every situation and figure out the best way to do the absolute least, while keeping the friend...

Beginner Mistake on an important Friday

A lot of this week went right, despite the underlying sicknesses (plural) that I ignore to dangerous abuse levels. Recently I discovered my pill bottle on the floor next to my bed. That's where I...

Year One vs Now.

I want to get this task done. I'll have the leave the house, takes buses, talk to people etc. I pull up the pipe, take a hit, put on some music and leave the house. That was what I liked about this...

The salt shaker is holding up my day

I can't find my salt shaker. Got to be around here somewhere but the floor is rather messy. Without it I don't want to eat my beautiful fresh white meat chicken. It's one of the few foods I don't...

My Insomnia isn’t Insomnia

I had not slept well the last three nights mostly be a of my stupidity and an old addict trick. If I'm not asleep by now, why not just stay up and try tomorrow. Howver as morning ce closer, I was...

I wish I could say it’s not my fault

Technically of course I can say it's not my fault but that wouldn't be true. It's 3:30 in the morning on Wednesday and I made the conscious decision to get high again. Reason I was teasing that it's...

5am again.

When 3am rolled around, and I was still awake, I blew some pretty video clouds and stayed up. I am dehydrated though, and although I took an ex-lax, it may not work right away-- orvat all for this...

4am video stuff

Social Media Life Stages

I'm not sure if this is just me. But I suspect not. The way we use social media has changed, subtly without much notice Bering paid. It's a fascinating burst of unexpected culture shock that is a...

The boy in the box

I can remember every bedroom I ever lived in. It's where I spent most of my life. Right from age 7 when we moved and I got my first bedroom.I attended dinners and chat with my family as I left the...

Sickness update

I got some xlax today thanks to a kind donation. I'm not sure how well it will work on this brand of weeks old dehydrated constipation but I just took one at 8pm so we'll see over the next two days....

Dream Update

I've been sick, but invisibly sick. I have severe constipation that has gone on much longer than I should have let it. Last week there was a bit of a reprieve and I let a medium shit through the...

It almost looks planned. Horrid Planning

It's 4am and I woke up abruptly. The fridge at critical levels of chocolate and water. I use both regularly each day but always seem forum low on weekends when I'm LSO out of money. It's Saturday...

Speedy fast clips

5am mini movie

It’s Friday already.

This seemed like a fast week. I got very little accomplished and saw no progress on any of my short term goals. No progress to show on anything really. I got high and complained or pondered. It was...

I’ve watched Netflix

I think I may have watched everything on Netflix. Not literally everything, but everything I think I'd like. There are a lot of really enjoyable series on the service but when you live alone with...

The documenting of NOW

I would like today to include some good blogging. I have so many thoughts running through my head. My wants sadly, seldome get satisfied this way. Distractions and mood shifts get in the way. I...

Steps to a better day

Over the years, I have found some key elements that make my day work out better. They're not a guarantee of course since there are so many variables and obstacles but it is clear to me when I don't...

Health Update

I have not felt right for a week or so. I thought it was various things but as I sit here on the toilet logging I realized. I've been peeing more than usual but not unloading and solid. It's gotten...

Starting strong and early

I decided today would be a good day. I wasted my Monday, but there are things that need doing. The sun beams through my window and I wake. Instead of pulling my hat over my eyes and rolling over for...

One day, other than today.

There are a few things that I would like to block about. Generally speaking by blog after smoking a little bit of weed. This is the case today. I will not be blogging about any of these serious...

Nobody is watching

I wonder how many teenage boys, or adults for that matter, are spending a good portion of their earnings to pay for women to talk to them. It doesn't even have to be sexual content or nudity...

$A fraction of my thoughts$

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