This page has been configured to filter out the drug related posts. The following blogs are relatively free of drug use or content although they may acknowledge that I am a user.
The Trust Issue
I have known two friends in my life that don’t love themselves. They have not been overly successful in finding partners because of this. This little story came to me after a dream and I am debating whether to share it with them or not.
Masking Depression
It's weird to be depressed on depression medication. It's hard to define medicated contentment. I don't cry all day, but I'm not productive. My truth is, I'm masking some of my worst depression by sleeping till 2pm or 5pm like I did today. I have very little actual...
Saturday the 18th Already
I should use the date as a blog title and go on about how fast time moves when you don't create any milestone memories, but I did and I will. I didn't blog about Pi day or St Patrick's Day. I didn't blog about my Daniel Day or the TV shows on this month. I didn't blog...
1am Again.
I can't tell if my insomnia today is real or in my mind. I'm not sure that it matters all that much, because either way, I'm still awake at 1:00 a.m. and I anticipate it's made last the whole night. Early this morning I blogged about how small a quantity of meth smoke...
I’m Chicken
I wish I had the nerve and the talent to properly express myself on websites and figure out how to meet people and mingle. I am a 59-year-old male with excellent communication skills. I'm a nice guy but I am asexual and have never really experienced passion or...
Today was a good day
Today was a good day. I didn't sleep during the day and I got a lot of stuff done including some backlog work with a customer I actually avoided for over 2 weeks. I made up and he didn't seem too upset. It's not really a lie to say it was a health reason I was...
Sadness means less blogging
My time away from the high has resulted in hours of sleep and a bit of reflection and pondering thrown in. We had two days of Spring before winter returned this week. A normal February. It gets light earlier but is still not bright past about 6pm. I've picked up a...
My ADHD post
I'm not saying this post has anything to do with ADHD, except for the fact that I have ADHD and I know for a fact that I will not get to the end of the blog post I intended without interruptions and distractions. I must now confess that I have completely forgotten...
Less blogging as expected
It's not that my life is more exciting when I'm using drugs, it's that I sleep more when I'm not. My life has about the same level of excitement either way but when I am sleeping, I'm less likely to blog. Ironically, I've had some pretty amazing dreams the past week...
Weekend Update. Monty Hall kept me up
I was awake all night again. I boofed the very last of my bong water in a single syringe that gave me an all day boost from noon till now. Part of my evening was obsessing over the Monty Hall math problem. Although tired, I worked on that task from 1am till 3am...
Beautiful Ontario Spring Afternoon
I don't know what the temperature is, but I'm happy to sit outside in my backyard chair and watch the dogs jump around and play with each other in the sunlight just before the evening starts. It's early February and more often than not this week would still be snow...
My sneaky tricks have failed me
Galley of playing around on my phone in the dark during the night hours
I skipped a day
Pretty much a normal Monday taking care of the dogs and feeding the chickens and feeding the pig and blogging about how dull that routine is.
Super Pig. Super Powers
They say that pigs are supposed to be one of the most intelligent animals in the animal kingdom. I haven't seen an example of that with my pig. Oops I mean the pig that I take care of during the week, but to be fair there's not a lot of intelligence that's needed to...
Brand Awareness
Not sponsored... Yet
That moment between tasks.
Feeding the pig and then trying to fit it under a blanket without upsetting it.
My fictional 60th
I wish I could remember all the stories in my dreams last night in as much detail as they contained. I remember three distinct stories but the details are already fading as I write this post. The latest, and perhaps the funniest storyline was when two agents knocked...
Rough wake up. Great sleep.
DREAMS ARE BACK! I didn't really notice I hadn't been dreaming and remembering them until they were back I had rich vivid dreams last night. Full plot and dialogue dreams. My alarm woke me at 7am from a detailed game of snooker that cost $20 an hour with lots of...
Tuesday Weather. 🌞 And ☁️
This post marks the very first time I have ever used emojis in the title and I have no idea whether they will translate to the browser or Apple computers or anything really. When I typed in sun and cloud these replacements were offered as options and I decided to...
Free(ish) Pizza Therapy
I had casually mentioned that I was out of food in one of the Kik groups and a complete stranger who only knows me from my messages there donated $17 towards the cause. Actually, he sent me $20 PayPal which got deleted down to about $17 after two transactions to get...
Face Filter Fun
A small gallery of the things I played around with this weekend.
Saturday Half Day
 My work life is pretty light these days. I only have a few customers left in my web business and my weekday job taking care of animals is only about a half hours worth of work split into three simple feeding tasks at breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even so, I don't...
Another secret attempt at sharing
I'm almost 60 and about to stop using meth again. It puts my mind in a reflective mood reevaluating who I am, and what things I missed that might still be possible. It's part of a recurring trick my brain starts playing in an attempt to justify buying more drugs. I...
Jan 27. Pre-worry has begun
Every now and then, for a brief moment, I reflect on the negative aspects of my situation instead of living in the positive thoughts. This is one of those moments.
Ignore it and maybe it’ll go away
I'm always a little hesitant to talk about my life philosophy of ignoring everything that I don't like or that's difficult. I'm almost 60 and it hasn't quite caught up with me yet but who knows what the future holds. The amount of shit I have tossed over the wall of...
Friday Change to Morning Routine
Mornings loud and dancey
Webcam Timelapse Typical Day
One day in one minute
1pm wake up
I know a number of people who sleep until the afternoon and then begin their day at 2 or 4pm on a regular basis. I have almost become them, except I'm still waking up before 7am... And then doing basically nothing till 2 or 3pm. It's a weird feeling to waste each day...
Four Pics
Random Photos from my Phone
Wednesday Blahs
Done work for the day, so I get spun and play.
Video Correction Request
Disguised excuses
Every now and then I take note of something in my life that is different than I remember it being. The question I always ask myself is, is this because of my drug use or because I'm almost 60 years old. The good news is, whichever one I wanted to be it can be. In some...
When strains matter
I don't really smoke much weed. When I had cash, I bought a gram of shatter and used iwith my tab tig or pen. It could last a month It was a good way to fall asleep. Then I got some weed from a friend and it was quite good allowing me to fall asleep. Today, the new...
4 minutes but who’s counting?
I am, obviously. That's the number of minutes I waited after heating up the pigs breakfast. It's supposed to be 5 minutes on high, but did 4 minutes because it ended at 750 instead of 751 and the pig doesn't like it hot anyway. I hate that I still feel a bit guilty...
Tuesday Change Up
I blog and stream about blogging during a stream.
Monday Chores – Bad Start
I can't act surprised when something that has been alerting me for 3 months finally makes the decision to fail. It's like driving your car with the check engine light, and then trying to act all surprised when the engine blows up 3 months later. In this case, it...
Andy Warhol is better than me
Two new art collections I created this weekend.
He’s making me learn
I've written many times of how I ignore or avoid things that are important in favor of doing other things that are less important. Important tasks for customers often get put aside until they complain and even then longer. It's one of my most frustrating traits and...
Mmmm… That’s good hot slop
The new routine at least for the winter is pig slop, heated for 5 minutes on high. It stinks up the kitchen because the stove isn't clean, and as far as I can tell from the pig's body language, he not only doesn't care, I think he prefers it cool. But I'm heating it...
The Black List
Why I like watching The Blacklist
Sloth Summary
I got in two naps today because my body told me I needed them, and more. My motivation on the new club website project has hit a bump, because it's go so many...
Half Random. Half Planned
My morning routine. Actually my whole day's routine is split into two different methods. There are part that I do on time every day specifics and then there are parts that are handled by the randomness of the dog's moods. Feeding the pig and the chickens is pretty...
Ego. My image online
I have been living all by myself in a 12x12 bedroom for two years. I don't have any real reason to leave the house, and I don't drive anymore. I'm just here, in this room all day every day. I still like taking photographs and making compilation music videos. Most of...
Two bases of operation
I have two workstations these days, and which one I use for blogging or video or editing makes a difference. It usually means it creates extra effort to move content between the desktop world and the phone world. I compose a lot of video content on my phone. I make...
Shopping Therapy
One way the universe shows us it's cruel is the idea of shopping therapy. As humans, we like new things. I personally like gadgets. Typically, women like shoes. There's something in each of us that makes us happy to shop and buy. The problem is it works best when...
Indentifing the symptoms. A new problem
I am experiencing a mental block that's trying to prevent me from continuing work on my new website project. I've had enough time to overthink and predict future failures so my excitement and enthusiasm in the creation of the project has dipped a little. This is not a...
I’m always evaluating life
There’s something strange about the idea of being supervised or watched that changes the way we react. Apparently this is true all the way down to microbiology.
Too wide a net
Sometimes I think this blog is trying to do too much for me. It is my hobby and the silent friend I talk to when I need an outlet. It doesn't judge me. That might change. One of problems in life is that expectations of success are usually not close to reality. I don't...
4pm early bird special
I managed to squeeze in an hour nap between 2:00 and 3:00. I'm always a tiny bit concerned that once I'm asleep after a longer binge like this I won't wake up for anything for a while. I'll ignore alarms and ringing and all sorts of things but it's not always the...
Obscure WordPress or DIVI Plugins I like
I have a saying I like to use often in life. Life has so many things that you may never know about unless somebody tells you about them, and I enjoy being that guy. I want to do this more, but it has a bit of a mental block in my head because so many content providers...
Good idea I’ve decided I won’t do
Despite being aware that nobody is checking out this blog except Romanian botts and search engines, it still keeps me happy and gives me something to do each day instead of sitting around on my bed doing drugs like the stereotype junkie. I can tell myself it's a great...
Tuesday Morning Good Start
Good morning after a big fight doesn’t feel as happy as I would like.
Hyper Focus
Hyper Focus is real. It’s why I’m still making memes at 2am
Quickie Pics from Snapchat
Todays creativity flow.
Monday Night Rage
I got yelled at again. Misunderstand isn’t the same as disobedience, but using the stove is a new rule I have to adapt to.
Backstage Party
A short film by me staring various crazy characters on my staff.
In anticipation of a letdown
There is a point many of us have experienced in life. You make contact with a new person, and you click. You have a nice chat. One of you eventually ends that first conversation, and then you wait. Was it fun for them? Did you do ok? Did you say anything awkward or...
The Universe Provides
New friends can be a joy and simultaneously such a stress.
A Banner idea
Styles and filters in bulk
Saturday Night Rerun
Did I already post this one from my phone?
I’m looking for my pot of gold
I look Scottish in this photograph, but I act more Irish, except for drinking alcohol.
I got the call to action
I’m always happy to be called into service to feed the animals on my days off. I just wish I had advance notice sometimes.
Is 8pm considered Mid-Day on Fridays
I didn't actually wake up this morning and start working right away. More accurately, I turned the ceiling light on and started working right away. I didn't get to sleep last night although there's an hour in there around 5:00 a.m. that I might have rested. The weird...
silly Useless Effect
This is just a silly effect with no actual audio to lipsync to, but it makes me wonder why. I think Deep Fake audio hasn’t arrived to the cheap app world yet.
Things worked out
My end of day summary is positive.
Daily Obligation Post
Daily affirmations are not for me… I do like the idea of a daily routine however
Great way to start a day
The first of a few messages posted today. Hybrid vlogging where I type, talk and record.
Day Three. Things I’ve done wrong.
I started back at my responsibilities of daytime animal feeder. It's an easy task, and yet I've made several errors in the three days since he went back to work. It worried me that I might actually be getting old soon and my ADHD distractions combined with drug use,...
Testing the blog posts
Somebody somewhere in the world was using up my website resources and keeping everyone out with 503 errors.In order to try and resolve this, I went searching and my host has some pretty amazing security features that I didn't know about that I'm going to probably test...
Hard to comprehend. Even for me.
I live an unusual lifestyle on many levels, and it's easy to mis-judge me without a better understanding of some of the aspects.The most significant among the misunderstandings is the one of my sexuality. Even I find it hard to really understand. Sexuality and gender...
