The bus declined my card. It probably had less than 3 dollars on it. The driver let it go because I’d renew it at the subway stop. They seem nice that way although I suppose it’s just easier to say yes and keep driving than bother starting a discussion or kicking me off.

I say down and loaded the app for Presto. It didn’t load. No internet. I tried another program too.

Oh oh. I know what this means. My bank has started declining payouts finally. I have been afraid to look but my guess is my overdraft has hit a record high, possibly $2000. Although officially, that would make the debt 17,000 if I include the overdraft and line of credit.

It’s on top of all my other debts, mostly forgiven or ignored. $4000 to one, $2200 to another and 37,000 to American Express. Needless to say, I’m not good with money. I never have been.

This time I’m going to have troubles with the business. When they cut my host connection, my customers will suffer briefly and then leave and in a matter of a week, I could be homeless.

I don’t think about that. I juggle like magic and pull something out if a hat. At least I have until now. I’ve been in debt most of my life. I give up luxuries and say I’m sorry.

I burn bridges occasionally but I do ok. Being on medication to maintain some happiness in all this is crucial. It has probably saved my life more than once when all seems bleak.

I’ll do something. I always do. I’ll find a way… Even if it means having wifi only for a while and not having a cell phone. Almost nobody ever calls anyway.

Another luxury I hate to give up but adapt without, like TV. I never thought I’d love without that. But the price tag topped $150 a month just to watch a few cop shows.i watch them for free now… At least until they killmy 39 home internet for non payment next month.

I think about being homeless. Where could I live? Who would adopt me? I could be a really nice kept man for some rich widow.

Not this month.not today anyway. I may be inoverdrsft but I have rent covered. I juggled well.

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