I’ve kind of modeled my life around a false confidence and knowing just a little more than the people asking the questions. I try to know the answers, or at least remember them the second time anyone asks.

This particular job had been stressful. It’s been a very long time since I’ve had pressure on me to be an expert with such exposure and reliance. I’m used to supporting issues and fixing things but moving and entire two offices from a very tight closed system to another hits a lot of areas I’m not experienced with. Security.

I’ve never worried about security before. That might sound odd, but security is a preventative thing, and I get the call only after things break or fail.

Security is like insurance. It’s an ask. It’s a sale. You tell people they need to spend money so that things won’t happen. Things that wouldn’t happen anyway probably, but might. I’ve always hated that idea. I’m aware that things do happen. My client base includes lawyers and pharmaceutical industries that are well known for espionage and dirty tricks.

I grew up when trust was the norm and criminals had to break into your office and steal your paper files or seduce a salesman in a bar to get secrets. Today, all they need is to guess your weak password.

This company pays 2000 a month and unknown other costs for security. They use none of it. The staff connect on insecure wifi and use passwords that would be caught in the first brute force attacks without much effort.

I’m tasked with helping them pay less and be more secure bit my guess is, even a weak password is fine if nobody ever tried to break in. Jackets can still seduce you in a bar or break in and steal your laptop.

This security is in my way.i have to hack. It’s crazy. It’s slow. Because I have to read up on how to do everything.

I don’t enjoy it. 

I’m unhappy again. Thursday on my way home, I feel like a good cry, but it’s the subway, do I won’t.

Not having money doesn’t help.

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