It was the first hot day of summer. Here where I live in Ontario, our spring season is often quite short and somewhat comical. Although I suspect many people all over the world grow up believing that some jokes were invented in their home town, I suspect that one that goes; Don’t like the weather? Wait 10 minutes is one like that.

I know that sentence might need a re-work. As I was typung the second half, I noticed it was another one of those long messages that I seem to use a lot. In speach, I never worry about long sentence, because you have emotion and timber to keep the pace. Whenever I write one of those, I end up wanting to edit it into two shorter sentneces so the ending works better. Sometimes I do, and you don’t see it, and sometimes I don’t, and the post a sentence like this folowing.

I added a new plugin just now, at 3am. It allows me to offer the best of both worlds. I always liked the idea of posting my stoned blogs “as-is” so that I could look back at them from the future and laugh, followed by sadness and I realized I could not possibly understand what the hell I was tring to say. I thought the readers might find it interesting too. Not every post was uninteligent ramble, but I ussed the excuse that typing at the speed of thought was my thing. My style. My easy out excuse for not proof reading or even spell checking. Closer to the truth would be to say I had no interest in returning to most of my works to correct. I’d been there, done that. Proof reading and spell cjecking was a break in the flow if done while I type, and after the fact, I inevitably end up re-writing almost everything.

The plugin allows me to do both. I can, if I so choose, return and edit anything I want, but all revisions are maintained and thanks to the plugin, publically selectable at the bottom of every page.  Cool.  I think the author… err… I should thank the author. It was exactly what I was looking for.

Loop return. It was hot in my bedroom tonight. May 2nd, and everyone is coatless walking around like it’s June. Windows are all open, because the landlords don’t turn air conditioning on for a few more weeks. My room is extra hot because I have so much electronic equipment turned on 24/7. Five monitors, two computers, a 55″ TV, and a fridge.  A mini fridge, but those things make up a lot of warmth.

So sleep was hard to begin. A bad day. It was my thought (or mental justification excuse) that I might actually stay up and work at nigght when it was cooler… so I snorted an extra bump… a few times. That could also explain some of my overheating. 

It didn’t work. It’s too hot. I’m typing this at 4am in boxer shorts and no shirt.

A fan nearby blows away from me, but keeps the air circulating. I’m sticky and this is one of those times when I decided to go fo the long hair long beard look. I’m not sure if it was because I like it, or because I couldn’t afford the $25, or because the guy I have chosen as my regular was away foir 6 weeks. Whatever the case, I really am starting to hate it. I didn’t have my head bans and my moist bangs were flapping in my eyes all night. I hate that.

Still, hair cut is on the top 20 list of things to do when I can afford it, but —

lets not get into how depressing being broke is. It’s a given. I’m not so much in debt this time… I don’t have any more credit. I just don’t have money for anything. I am craving Hershey’skisses more than meth.

Then again, you don’t really call it craving if you’re doing it regularly anyway. It’s like never being hungry if you eat 5 meals a day.

It is clear to me I”m using a bit more with every re-up. $100 uisn’t last the month and this month I’m sti–

I said I wasn’t going there. My poverty is old news.

Health Update

I’m starting to get a bit concerned that my cold isn’t a cold. It is entirely possible it’s cancer.

Partially for the effect and the joke I jumped from common cold to cancer but also becasue my teeth are really effected and my denturist mentioned the word as  a possibilty two months ago. I didn’t go for the follow up. Now o coirse, it’s reasonably easy to match my symptoms to easrly stage body breakdown.

I’ve been expecting it. 

I was to go to my doctor In December… It is May. Maybe I’ll go tomorrow. I’m not sure how I will react to sickness or pain. I was really expecting to have died by now.

4:01am. Lets see if I can fade away to sleep.

End of this part.

Post Revisions: