Disclaimer. This one is a bit of a downer.

I love that title because it relates to two totally unrelated, yet both can be used to help describe my problem. I’m going to say right here if you are spiralling out of control downward to rock bottom, id like to recommend doing it on crystal meth. It spirals you up instead.

I’m fucked either way, but I’m still capable of feeling great about life and the future. I am high Jeff. Tomorrow Jeff has to deal with that. Except sober Jeff is around less and less. He runs away. This isn’t musical chairs. Both Jeffs should start to plan.

Fact. While laying in bed just now, at 7pm on a Saturday, I just did a quick total. Today is the 7th. I need to cover way more bills than usual, and there is no way I can get 3000 in the bank before May 1. The hard reality is I will have a hard time covering the urgent life-changing bills. I have to renew close to 1000 dollars in domains between tomorrow and may. April is my highest month for domains.

If I miss one even a few hours, entire companies go down. Email and web not just delayed, but showing as gone.

I have done this already. I will do it again tomorrow.

That’s the first failure. Bell Tv and internet didn’t get paid last month so they want 550 this month for 60 days and they’ve convinced the government it is perfectly legal to charge loanshark rates disguises as penalties.

I have no idea when they cut service.

Rogers handles my cell but it’s 115 these days, later in the month.

I can dump my 25 a month toll-free number. It never really gets used at all, as virtually nobody even thinks about long distance anymore.  Most of my remaining customers are local face to face contacts anyway.

I really should have dumped tv and cell down to base rates in October when I said I would. I just don’t make the call. I toss it over that wall I call tomorrow.

I’m paying for Netflix so my roommate can watch it.

I pay over 120 a month to keep a credit line I can’t use. You can figure out why on your own if you’re clever enough.

My car insurance is a top priority because they have a different policy than the other essentials.  Worse than Bell. Phone, TV and cell companies providers are all the big four in Canada now.  They need to be more delicate with unpaid bills because switching to the other guy is pretty easy.  Bell wants you to stay, so they’re in no rush to dump you. They just tell you they are.

Insurance companies only really make money by dumping you. They quite literally have people who work hard trying to figure out new ways to dump you. One minute late, sorry. We dumped you. Stand in that line to reapply as a new client with no perks or discounts. Worse than losing seniority at your work just because executives bought and sold your parent company.

Then, the 80 dollar web hosting fee, which luckily I got down from 300 when I made it better… But then my sysadmin made the mail better too and it went up to 400. Neither of them will let me lapse more than 7 days at best but possibly 3.

Or at least that’s the threat. I’d like to believe they might be more sympathetic but then again, my overdraft probably never reaches an actual human. Payment fails. The server dropped offline.

All of this is not only going to happen in the next 20 days but except for the 250 Bell double bilk, it is going to repeat every single month. Well… Perhaps not.

It might not make it past next Friday.

I have nobody to ask but even if I did, I don’t.

720. Let us see if I can just fall asleep after some more dubstep porn.

Tomorrow needs to come. Just maybe not today.


I still don’t have regrets. I have a feeling my future might change that opinion when I finally have to start dealing with the repercussions of living a life ignoring anything bad, or a little hard, or even uninteresting.

Ahhhh meth. I can feel good about my writing and ignore the content.

This was a great week. I got a lot of web design unpaid work done.

Not my March invoices sent, but …

The end. Part1

April 30th 2018 – Footnote

I was editing some images this morning when I saw this post and remembered the Cat on the roof story is NOT a Chakotay fable. It’s just an old joke. I love the joke, and use it a lot.


Bob goes on vacation. He asks his moron brother to take care of his cat. After a few days on vacation, Bob calls to say hi. The moron brother blurts out “Your cat is dead.”

Bob is beside himself with grief. And he chastises his moron brother for breaking the news to him in such an abrupt manner. The moron brother asks how he could have done it better.

Bob explains “Well, for example, you could have told me the cat was on the roof. The next time we talked, you could say the Fire Department is trying to get him down. The next time, you could say the cat fell during the rescue and was in the veterinarian hospital. The next time I called, you could say the cat succumbed to his injuries and passed away. That way I would be prepared for the bad news.”

The moron brother says he understands. Then he adds, “Oh, by the way. Mom is on the roof.”

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