I have been on the other sie of the door wondering; are you up?

She makes a noise outside my door. I am startled, and involentarily yelp.

I trait I learned from my father, sadly. Loud startles.

Nobody wanted to go wake him up.

She kniows I am awake, and about towrite.

I feel down.

Up and down. I thinkI wrote some awesome stuff this pasy weekend, as well as the video. I am on a high of hope. Can I maintain the momentum to keep me on track? To keep me inter…

 

Nope. I’m bored already.

My mother used to get angry because I was bored. She hatd that word.

After she’s gone, I realize to a kid with a brain like mine, stimulation must come from an external source. I was born to be a part of a duo. It’s the only way I;ve accompisuehed anything i life.

I sincerly believe I … Pause. 

I have to stop saying that. I just believe some brains are a recipie for a different opinion.

If we are to remember the world in the stories we tell each generation, doesn’t it make sense to gather stories from as many point of views as pissible?

I stop. I consider apologizing, but I’m trying to do that less. I just feel down today, and I know it will get worse this week. I am caught in a mental loop.

 

THat may have been to much weedd. 

I have a drug problem 

This is a public forum.

heavy breath.

I am at a point I need to be optomistic and I just can’t.

I need a wife, or a business partner, one one that is both.

I will give up drugs the moment somebody will have sex with me.

or I startt a project.

I have another confession. I have done so many drugs, I might be stupid. I may have lessend my ount.

 

Is that cognative discidence? I alwauys loved saying that phrase.  There were a few.

Oenomatapea was a word I liked to bethe one to intriduce it to people. Firsties points

Thes writings, if I contine on, or share will get very deep and braod and either impossible to read or impossible to put down.

I am not literally William Hung, about to sing without telling anyone he was going to do it. Wiliam Hung was a perfect singer. He hit every note, and had the leody down just fine.

Except that he didn’t.

I AM PERFECT
ONLY ALONE

All I need is one fan.

sleep and ponder ending.

1030

I pull my headphones out mid sentence to write…

It won’t lwt mw.

let me.

#signs

I need to do it. Orange Jeff has been openly the Fun Bobby of second life, but you all know what happened to fun bobby when he became Just Bobby?

That’s right, you don’t. Many of you may not even remember who fun bobby was, and I sure hope I remembered it wrong. I hate screwing up jokes.

I seldom tell them unless telling the joke includes a story.

I have to make the descion… and a life alone without drugs is not an option I can afford. You don’t quit smoking and go on Survvor… 

I can’t cold turkey it.

I say here… I do not want to die.

But I also prefer it to being old and alone. It is a horror.

I only see new, when I am with others.

I only experience firsties, when I’m with others.

I only feel joy when I’m with others.

I’m happy paying for that luxury, and as i type it I reaize I didn’t mean pay for sex, but it seems like it.

But I;ve tried that on a number of occasions… butb that’s another story,

shit. I’m not going to get anything den this week… although I think I fakes it.  If Elisa is smart she may have noticed.

Stoners always think you can notice, and the number one complaint of webcam stoners is their viewers say they don’t seem stoned.

People don’t get as high as they do on TV.

or do they? I’m old.

I am afraid. 

Start the video and web page. 

or don’t. yeah. that seems better.

no 24/7 webcam with voice

180 vr

When I had a girlfriend, I wanted to be better for her.

She was my Santa. I wanted to be good, ven when she wasn’t looking.

I need somebody to be pleased and 

I don’t know what I need. I just know it’s a partner.

end number 2 or 3

I have a hundred more in my head but dont want to type. It wasnt supposed to ruin MOnday.

descision

how honest loses auduence? everyone has a line.

pause

I hope I don’t suck. I hope I’m not William Hung.

I rmember reading a lot of British scripts and always wondering whothese named peole are. I should learn William Hung is not a good usage of the story.

AMerican Idol is not a good bible story.

real end 11pm

 

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