Details of my imagined life are real, or as real as any story being told as truth. There is a line in the very first Jurrasic Park by Jeff Goldbloom; “Life finds a way”… argh. Is it Life will find a way?  In any case, it stuck with me that our bodies and minds are excellent at keeping us alive against incredible odds. I remember how amazed I was to see dandylions growing through our Tennis Court for the first time. Make way for new.  Comin’ through.  New here, need to get to the sun. Power!

As it turns out, it might have said more about the cheapness of our Tennis Court.

I state here that I deleted a whole paragraph just now. I changed my mind and stopped a diection shift. I let a few nights slide. If I am to progress to the point of believing my writings about my intention to be confident, it is a moot point till tested with that first share.

That was bad. I remind you I am still very high on great THC shatter (the caviear of weed… The Angus Beef of weed… more like the HP sause of weed.

ding.

The Secret Submissive.  I have somehow found myself in a new life chapter that took a left turn from any plan. I live in somebody else’s home again, in a single room.  EVerything is here including a tiny square mini fridge. (I decided not to do a Hotel bottles inside that keep getting replaced, but I get chrged $7 a bottle.

and I don’t drink.

No.. I was right to not do that joke.

(stare into the camera)

(clip of Feris beuller doing exactly the same thing.

OH MY.  Can I do that right now in WordPress?

WOW!  I can.  Are GIFS found from Google Keyboard legal for use in a blog?

I remember how HUGE that was for me when I first saw it live. One of my favourite devices to throw the viewer off was that fourth wall.  Having actors break character and talk to the audience can be awesome if done just right. I think I might prefer the idea I had where Second Life characters – OH WOW!

This is what I can do In Second Life.

Studio, green screen, interview area, open mic brick wall, and lighting.

Every day, you can come here, and shoot a segment for your social media on preset or private topics. The studio can do as little or as much as you request, and you are welcome to assist and particpate in others productions as you wish.

SUBMIT YOUR IDEAS AND JOKES

If I can’t start it for me, maybe I can start it as Robin.  I’m a service provider, not a famous boss.

Secret Submissive topic obviously is one I misdirect away from so I won’t say more than to say I have created this living arrangement. I guided my universe into a place where my former best friend now hates my guts, and in living in my home. It is her home in almost every way, except I have the bedroom and she has no door to close. I live in my room, 24 hours a day, with 1 to 4 bathroom breaks. She has the rest of the place. Her version of the story from her perspective is different, but from inside here at 12:51 almost everythingI do, I do so with her reaction taken into consideration. I do my very best to maintain my prime directive.

Don’t irritate, agitate, or interupt. Don’t be the inconvenience. My whole life has changed to serve atthe pleasure of my master… except she doesn’t know it. She might be oblivious to everything I do every day to keep her as happy as within my abilities. When I don’t do everything possible, I feel guilty, and end up faking sleep for 4 hours because my brething is whistly ad my tyoing can have louder passion.

It is also possible she is aware, and is happy to play along, but I doubt it. I am fairly certain her thoughts are still in the stages of recovery where they’re all self obcessed but in denial of that because it’s hard to undestand how deep low self esteem and self centereness is. You have to see how amazing the world can be once you stop spending all your non interactive thinking about you, or what you’ve dreamed others are thinking of you.

pause.

Idea.  Set up fun stuff to do in second life, and then tour clubs with the idea… but market it to the non sl world.

idea.

The 24 Second Show.

You get to know tomorrow’s topic at the end of your 24 second TV show every day. We can track you down and take the sumission submission my voice only or video from phone.


I lost my temper at somebody again today. The secon, no, third customer I have quit because they were losses. I usually complain that other people who do what I do, but with confience, make more, and charge more. These two people just destroy my whole day when they break silence to ask apon me. I have been a good servant, always jumping when they rang the little servant bell.

At some point, my inability to ask for compensation more worthy of my value to these people lands me frrustrated and struggling with anger. The cases are different but I did manage to break 89% free of the one that made me cry twice and her anger towards me was disrespectful beyond repair. She has no idea.

The one of my nightmares now would be, or will be shocked to learn the mere sight of his name on my call display can derail my mood and stop my productivity dead. This time it might be 2 weeks nobody else gets the priority good thinking productive minutes of my week.

I was terse, unhelpful and probably obvious enough to make it a rude gesture of disrespect.

I am ashamed. I feel bad for taking a few extra minutes to respond to the man who woke me at 730am today to ask where the mustard was in the fridge… only in the web. I have become so much a part of his process of learning that his work is halted rather than click that box, oh look… there it is exactly where jeffs text described it twice today and twive yesterday and again 6 months ago and again 6 monthds before that.

In three days, he will have stalled his client past whatever urgency was to get the site online, and he’ll dump it for nother moment. He only brings it out and pretends to care enough until it’s hard without me, and then he gives up and runs back to FrontPage.

Yes, Microsoft FrontPage.

I really can’t complain. Having a guy on call and contract that takes care of stuff I’d have to learn is my preferred way to learn, but my level of guilt differs from zero. I overpay when I can. I want to ask, but staying as close to my objective to not inconvenience or annoy. I pad my asks with whatever I can.

neck pain. crap. posture,

121am. end of this part.

WOW.  My nose music skills catch me offguard at times. I keep hearing parking lot seguls. My nose clog is seguls tonight.

I reaaanged mt keyboard to type with better posture but her light is out so now I know shes in that state waiting for the next hiccup.ding

Before sleep, your worst enemy is to notice you’re not asleep yet. If you can fall asleep without noticing, you’re golden. My house mate is in a phase where she sometimes looks for reasons to be unhappy. The moment before sleep is critical and if I’m the reason she keeps resetting her falling asleep routine… Well I’ll feel the blame regardless. I won’t ride my night time shift for NOW.

I’ll do the right thing and sacrifice to give joy to somebody else because I can.

Long pause.

The worst thing about having a room mate that’s a light sleeper… Those time when you have a stuffy nose and a very loud fircefull snot blow a few times a night will wake and irritate her… Or if it doesn’t, I will have felt the sorrow of the inconvenience personally as if she did.

I stopped talking after her light goes out. Half my ideas and joy are from talking.

…..

Drink pause. Nose blow.

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