On an odd way, the it was a sad day when they recently exposed dating sites standard practice of having a lot of fake profiles in order to attract males with stop money. They named names. Several dating sites that shared ownership. The one the media went with was the best story.

Ashley Madison. The big story about leaked names blew away the more important point. You may not get responses from the mannequins in the windows.  You don’t know if the “400 women online’ are really 34, and only 5 from your area code, which might be acceptable if I knew which ones were real, and didn’t have to send 364 messages with no responses first.

For me, the rejection feeling of silence is taken as a fail. No pride.

The secret you’re not supposed to know, is that men ping…. Men like knowing some profiles are fake. It eases that rejection feeling.

I tell my own stories.
Why wouldn’t I want them to be great.

When all else fails
Salvage a great story, and turn it into a win

It’s easier than you think.

Reframing

If I send 20 messages to 20 women and none reply, I need to believe I am not that big a loser. 

In other people’s stories, we’ve seen men rudely throw blame around. Statements like ‘well then she must be gay” as a comfort to such rejection.

The bigger your ego,  or confidence is, the bigger the hit when she says no.

Luckily I’m still very new with my self confidence, but I’m not the person to call someone gay because they didn’t like me. Instead, I am comforted by the assumption these profiles are all fake.

No hits to my confidence, but now I have to decide, do I walk away, or do I broaden my search parameter, others referred to as,  lowering my standards.

Is it wrong to be specific in my quest, or say hi to everyone and see which of the plenty if fish bites

Then, hope nor to screw it up on the reply.

I’m putting myself out there more in my head than in reality, but compared to the past, the glaciers are melting much faster thus year.

I have always said,  I change at glacial speeds.

Another proof of Goebel warning



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